Mustang learns the truth
by Jachien
Summary: This is a series of one-shots where Mustang finds out that Ed is actually female. Fem!Ed x Mustang, mostly. All chapters are OOC, some more than others. But really, changing the gender of a main character is pretty out of character anyway.
1. Ed gave himself up - by accident

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. Seems like it'd be a lot of trouble. I'm just writing for fun, no money is being made.

For anyone reading on a mobile device with an app that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

This chapter is probably more of a General rating, except language.  
 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Al had called the office to tell Brigadier General Mustang that Ed wouldn't be in to give his report for a few days. He'd gotten sick on the train back from a mission and was delirious, no information would be forthcoming.

Mustang wasn't about to allow Ed any leniency though, if he could spare the time he would, but the higher ups were breathing down his neck, so he ended up telling Al to cart him in on a wheel-barrow if necessary. He needed that report today.

And Al came in, carrying Ed on his back and depositing him on the general's couch. Then he stood there and glared at Mustang while the team tried to wake Ed up.

It worked. Eventually. And Mustang was able to ask questions. He dismissed his crew; the case had sensitive information, and while he trusted them completely, he didn't need them hearing about the gruesome details. Al stayed because even though he wasn't military he had gone on the case with Ed, and Mustang could tell that it would be a fight to get the younger Elric to leave the office. Al was no longer a suit of armor but he was still a formidable fighter, it just wasn't worth it.

Getting all the answers took a lot longer than he'd originally thought. Ed might as well have been drunk with how helpful he was being. He giggled at some questions, fell in and out of consciousness, gave half answers, and constantly forgot the words he needed.

Eventually it was over and Mustang dismissed Al and Ed. He had to translate the notes he'd made into an actual report for his superiors before morning.

"I know you hate me now Al, but thank you. This report is quite urgent or I wouldn't have asked you to bring him in."  
From the couch where Al was trying to gather his brother onto his back again, Ed started giggling. "You're stupid Mustang!" he giggled some more. "It's so obvious. You're just useless."

Al started to worry, Mustang never responded well to being called useless. He'd better get his brother out of here before anything else fell out of his mouth he didn't mean.

The general reined his emotions in faster than usual, picking up on a part of Ed's slurred slander that was odd.

"Al, stop." He directed his voice toward Edward, his eyes scrutinising the older blond. "What's obvious Ed?"

Ed giggled some more, "Oh come on _Brigadier General_. " he emphasised the words and even in his cough medicine induced drunken state managed to sound condescending. "Even Hawkeye figured it out years ago. You're a dumb dummy." Then collapsed into a fit of giggles and coughs.

Al knew immediately what Ed was referring to and panicked. He had to get Ed out of here. Ignoring the General's orders to stop he gave up on backpacking and scooped his brother up and made for the door.

Mustang had not expected Ed's ramblings to be any more than inflated insults, so Al's panic and attempted escape surprised him. It wasn't too hard to block the door before the boy had made it much farther than halfway through the room.

"Sir, Ed's sick, I have to get him back to the dorm before his fever rises more than it already has."

Mustang ignored him, "Hawkeye! In here now!" he commanded, stepping far enough away from the door to let her in.  
Al's panic grew, "Sir. No! Please! Just let us go back. Ed needs sleep! Please?"

The General was starting to worry now, Al was begging. What the hell kind of secret had they been keeping from him?

Hawkeye had entered the room, taking in Al's fearful expression and the worried confusion of her superior she plastered indifference to her face, she was _not_ choosing a side.

Keeping his eyes on his friend and partner for almost a lifetime he directed his question at the medicated drunk, "Ed, what did Hawkeye figure out years ago?" and Mustang watched her face drain of colour. Though, he had to give her credit, she didn't flinch or otherwise give any indication she knew what was coming. It was just that now her face matched the colour of the papers on his desk.

Ed decided to just repeat Mustang's earlier sentence instead of answering, "bring _him_ in." and he giggled some more, "bring HIM in. bring _hiiiimmm_ in. bring him in bring him in bring him in." He continued to sing in the background and Mustang started to get a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Still looking at his unflinching subordinate he asked Ed another question, "Who should he have brought in Ed?"

Ed stopped singing, "HER!" he shouted at the top of his lungs then collapsed into another fit of giggles, which turned into a coughing fit, before passing out cold.

No one moved. Mustang felt his stomach drop to the floor. Hawkeye still hadn't moved, her lack of response confirming his thoughts.

Slowly, Al started making his way toward the door. The sleeping Ed still on his back.

Mustang turned his head to acknowledge the escape, "Do NOT leave your room!" he commanded. Al nodded and fled the office. He wouldn't leave the room, but he didn't have to let anyone in. He'd alchemically remove the door and replace it with a wall as soon as he got there.

Mustang was still frozen in place, processing the information. Hawkeye dared not move in case it triggered a reaction she wasn't ready for. They stood in silence until Havoc knocked on the door. "Sir, admin called. They've moved the report deadline up to an hour from now."

Mustang snapped out of it. "Fuck." He didn't have time to get upset about this right now.

He motioned for Hawkeye to sit down and then he moved behind his desk.

First, he'd get this report done. Then, he'd get all the answers he needed from Riza. THEN he was going to the bar to get very drunk.

-.-.-.-.-. more notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ok, first chapter of anything in a very long time. Constructive reviews appreciated. There's more chapters coming, I've already written them. Though a few are ... well, i'm not sure i'm allowed to publish them on this site.


	2. Mustang figures it out

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

This chapter/story is one I just started and then it wrote itself. I'm not entirely sure it all makes sense but i didn't want to keep it sitting too long before v-day. I might have over used some words and it could be choppy. I'm writing again to try and work on that. Constructive criticism appreciated.

For anyone reading on a mobile device with an app that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

This chapter has s General rating, except language.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Al let it slip. Mustang wasn't sure if the boy realised it or if he'd figure out later that the clue he gave sparked the investigation, but this was definitely Al's fault.

"Listen Al. You're not kids anymore. You're seventeen, and Fullmetal's what?"

"Twenty two-"

"Eighteen?"

"Yeah, sorry. Eighteen."

It took miliseconds, but that was all he needed to realise something was off. How could the younger Elric not know how old his brother was?

Mustang barely hesitated in his speech, "Exactly, so you can't just run around like you own the place. Stop destroying any building that's standing in front of you!"

"Yes sir."

Mustang sighed. Neither of the Elrics worked for him anymore but he'd been trying to help them find a job or two as freelance alchemic repair gurus. It was ruining his name when he recommended them and they trashed the place. They were supposed to be _fixing_ it!

It was time for a new strategy, if he spoke to the younger brother, maybe he'd help keep Fullmetal in line.

"Well, get out of here then. I'll let you know if I hear anything, and they'll probably be small jobs because at this rate, Fullmetal's 'Hero of the People' reputation isn't going to last long."

Al nodded and bolted from the office. Sure the General had never been his superior but he still didn't like being scolded for his brother's infractions. He'd almost fucked up too, giving away Ed's age like that. It looked like Mustang didn't notice though so maybe he'd avoid telling Ed about his slip up; he didn't want to be yelled at twice today.

The door closed and Mustang slumped down in his chair. Why the hell would Alphonse mistake his older brother's age? And with _four years_ of a difference!

A thought sparked in his brain, maybe though, maybe Al _did_ know how old Ed was. Maybe it was everyone else that was wrong. He narrowed his eyes trying to think back to when he did Ed's background check. He couldn't remember finding a birth certificate though there had to be one. Ed existed so paperwork about his birth should exist... but how could he explain doing another background check? Especially for someone that no longer worked in the military. He wouldn't have to explain it, not if he did it himself, on his own time.

Spending his valuable paperwork time devising a plan made the afternoon fly by. He only ended up with one dilemma: Hawkeye. She wasn't going to let him leave the city without her knowing why. She was still his bodyguard. She still had guns… he grumped to himself, no way around that then, he'd just have to tell her and insist she didn't come with him.

After some deliberation he decided to head out almost immediately. This weekend. Take the morning train, get to the Resembool town hall, dig through the family records, and head right back. Hopefully there was an overnight train so he didn't have to get a room in Resembool but he'd plan for it just in case.

Turns out, Hawkeye wasn't as hard to convince as he thought. Strangely, she seemed a bit happy that he was going. He could tell she was trying to conceal it, but she let him off with only the basic warnings. _Interesting_.

Mustang arrived at the station early Saturday morning and hopped on the first train car available. If Fullmetal saw him then the game would be over. And really, this felt like a scavenger hunt. Finding clues to solve a puzzle. He was a little excited.

His plan actually worked out. He got to Resembool unnoticed and was able to dig through the records as expected. There was nothing for Edward under his family name's index and nothing under 1899 for births, but considering Al's slip up… Mustang dove into the E section for 1895 and rummaged around. Hah! There _is_ an entry under Elric! He was excited to finally get somewhere. He sat down to read the specifics. Looks like it was spring time; Father: Hohenheim. Mother: Trisha. Gave birth to baby girl: Edaline Elric.

Mustang stopped and stared at the page. He could see the words but they weren't processing correctly. _baby girl... Edaline Elric…_

A voice called to the records room, startling him out of his thought. "We're closing up in a bit, are you done General?" He mumbled an affirmative and started putting the papers away. He could process this on the train on the way back.

Catching the late train out of Resembool to East City, then the overnight back to Central, his head wouldn't let him sleep. If he was a she, then of _course_ she'd lie about her age to conceal her lack of growth. It made sense. He wasn't even mad. There were several advantages for why she'd do it. But why keep lying after she'd accomplished her goals? Maybe she didn't know how to come out with it. Maybe she was nervous about telling everyone.

A plan popped into Mustang's head then and he laughed out loud to himself on the train. He could help her tell everyone, and he'd do it his way.

He arrived home in good spirits with enough time to sleep the morning away then spend the afternoon plotting. Monday he'd call Ed into his office to try out phase 1 of what he was calling, 'Expose the Truth".

Phase 1:

"We're here General, what do you want? Do you have another job we can do?" Ed had arrived fairly early and seemed pretty eager to get some work.

"As it happens, I do. Someone needs the diving board fixed before a swimsuit competition. While they won't be using the board, the place needs to be cleaned up."

"That's it?"

"It is! Do you have a problem with it?"  
Ed looked irritated, "Seems a bit too easy, what's the catch?"

"Nothing really. Some of the women might be by to try out their suits and show their talent, that's all. Are you going to be OK surrounded by half naked women?"

Ed snorted, " _You're_ the pervert Mustang. Not me."

The General rolled his eyes and handed Ed the request while shooing her out the door. "Just make sure you don't fall in, you might not be able to touch the bottom."  
"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHO-"

Mustang slammed the door in her face. This plan didn't work out. Maybe he shouldn't have tried to come up with it while staring at a swimsuit calendar.

Phase 2:

"Ed I have a new job for you and Al."  
"Obviously, that's why we're here."  
Mustang ignored her, "I need some renos done in this office and I'm willing to pay you."

Ed's face lit up like the sun and Mustang realised his mistake.  
"NO! No gargoyles, no exaggerated buttresses, no skull and crossbone scones!"

Ed's face dropped.  
"I have rules here. There's blueprints to follow."

Ed grabbed the papers, "When do you want us to start?"

Mustang smiled, "Now's good."

Ed rolled her eyes and together with Al they got to work.

The General got almost no paperwork done, looking down at his desk only when Ed turned to ask him something. He was watching Ed very closely for any sign of femininity. Smaller waist, larger chest, cuter butt. The usual signs.

Al noticed quickly how Mustang's eyes were studying his older sister and started to get edgy. He tried drawing the General's attention to his side of the office but it wasn't working.

 _There!_ Mustang caught a glimpse of what he was looking for. Cloth bandages were under Ed's shirt. It had ridden up while she was reaching for something and the evidence was exposed. Hah! A gleefully sneaky look graced his features before Al ruined everything.

"STOP LOOKING AT MY BROTHER LIKE THAT YOU PERVERT!"

Ed turned and caught the look on Mustang's face just before it disappeared.

The General gaped at the younger Elric. They exchanged a look before his team burst through the door. Dammit. Now he had to make excuses before everyone assumed the worst. On top of that, Al was on to him. He glanced at Ed and noticed her cheeks were just the slightest bit pinker than usual. _Interesting._

"Just pay us and we'll leave." Al was glaring at him and his team was still asking about the look he had been giving 'Edward', so he gave in and handed over the money.

At least phase 2 was a bit more successful than phase 1. He watched the blushing Elric sister leave his office. _Much_ more successful.

"Hey Sir, I thought you didn't want any gargoyles." Havoc pointed to the doorknobs.

 _Fuck!_

Phase 3:

"Fix my roof!"

"Are you serious?! It's a thousand degrees out!"

Mustang rolled his eyes, "It is not, and I'll be helping."

Ed grumbled her way up the ladder, Al following. It appeared Al had not told his sister what Mustang's intentions were. Maybe the boy knew he'd started the whole thing. In any case, it worked out in the General's favour.

"Are we done yet?! How many holes can your stupid roof have? I'm melting up here!"

"It's your own fault Fullmetal, you're still wearing your coat and shirt. Al and I gave up on that a while ago."

He caught Ed looking at him from the corner of her eye and stretched his muscles out a bit. "Either take the shirt off or quit grumbling."

She turned away and mumbled to herself instead.

Al caught the whole display and wanted to be sick. Mustang was going over the top. He had thought the Flame alchemist only wanted to tease her a bit, but now it looked like he was actually trying to see if she'd reveal herself _and_ pay attention to him at the same time. Ed was going to lose her shit if she found out Mustang was just taunting her these past few weeks, and damned if Al was going to be the one to tell her.

They all lasted another half hour before Ed decided she'd had enough. She stood to leave and just about fell off the roof. Mustang and Al dove for her, each managing to grab a leg. She'd passed out from heat stroke and now they were stuck maneuvering her down the ladder.

"This is your fault Mustang. It's ok if it's harmless, but this almost caused a lot of damage. She could have broken her neck! Knock it off with your games or I'll bury you under the rubble of your own house." Apparently Al's body came with a backbone, literally and figuratively.

Roy grimaced, his heart was still in his throat. "I know, I just thought I could get her to tell me herself."

Al could sympathise with the General, it was hard to get Ed to open up to anyone, "You have one week and then I'm telling her that you know."

"One more plan Al, then I'm done. If she doesn't come out with the truth then I'll talk to her about it."

"Works for me. Now pay up. We finished your roof, which I'm pretty sure you sabotaged to begin with."

 _Heh..._

Phase 4:

A box arrived at the Elrics' apartment. Al had been the only one home at the time and had had to sign for it. For all its wrapping It was clearly a dress box. He rolled his eyes and put it on Ed's bed. The card that came with it had a poorly disguised version of Mustang's handwriting and Al decided it would probably be a good idea to see what the General was up to.

With no qualms about snooping he opened the card and almost choked, _a hotel address? what the hell Mustang?_ Mumbling to himself he stuffed the card back into the envelope, "She'll murder you dead, idiot." Actually, that might be funny to watch. He wondered if the General's security was prepared to stop the Fullmetal Alchemist on a rampage. Picturing the destruction, Alphonse giggled to himself then went back to reading. _Maybe I should make popcorn…_

Ed arrived an hour later with a pile of books from the library and went to her room to drop them off. Al waited. He didn't hear any yelling; had his sister not seen the box and just crushed it under her books?

"Al! Did you see what was in this?" She was holding the card in one hand and the box in the other.

He shook his head as she rounded the corner and came into the living room, "It arrived a while ago, I just put it on your bed." Technically he'd opened the card, not the box.  
"General bastard invited us to a masquerade ball. At Central Hotel."

Al smacked himself mentally, that made a hell of a lot more sense. There must have been more notes _inside_ the box.

Putting the package on the table Ed started to pull light blue fabric out of the box and Al watched as her face changed from interest to confusion to anger as the cloth revealed itself to be a dress.

"That bastard knows?" The card really hadn't been disguised very well and more emotions flew across her face, she looked at her brother with hurt on her face, "you knew that he knew and you didn't tell me?"

Al sighed and dropped his head to the table muffling his voice. "He said he was going to talk to you. I didn't expect all this scheming."

Of _course_ she was smart enough to figure it all out.

"It's kind of my fault he knows."

So he might as well spill the beans.

"I got your age wrong when I was talking to him a couple of weeks ago. I had hoped he didn't notice the slip but…"

Silence floated around the room for a few minutes, finally Ed grumbled but resigned herself to circumstance, "Well, it had to come out sometime. And it looks like he's letting it be on my terms since I get to choose if I want to go _and_ I get to bring you with me for backup. Plus" she grinned, "I get to make scary masks for us to wear."

She'd had to buy a few more items to go with the dress. The simple A-line was calf length and had come with long gloves and a small jacket, but she need boots and something to put her hair up with that was a bit fancier than her generic elastic. She had thought it would be a good punishment to drag her brother shoe shopping since it was his fault the secret slipped, but he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. _Of all the things he couldn't do in the armor…_ She shook her head at the absurdity of it and saw that he was waving to her from the end of the store, at least he was happy, even if her original intent had been to torture him.

The day of the ball. Did it really start at 8? There'd better be food. When was the cab arriving?

Ed was suspiciously calm, she'd made the scary gargoyle masks and then put on the dress, shoes, and gloves. As far as she was concerned, her work was done.

Al was the one running around asking questions. His waistcoat was only half done up and he couldn't find his other shoe. When he saw Ed though, he almost had a heart attack. "You can't go like that!" He'd been reading fashion articles the last few days knowing he'd need the advice.

He sat her down at the table to re-do her hair and managed to add some make-up before she swatted him away.

"It's going to be covered by a mask anyway!"

"Ed! There's a big reveal at the end of the night! You have to know this, it's even on the invitation!"

Ugh! This was exhausting and she wasn't even there yet.

Pulling up to the Hotel they could see the building was already packed. There was a giant banner strung up across the entrance. "Central City's Valentine's Day Masquerade Ball"  
Crap, she'd forgotten about that.

Masks firmly in place, they were helped out of the cab and ushered up the stairs into the building. They could see the main dance hall at the end of the entry way, refreshments and finger food were on every table. As they approached the open doors her brother squeaked, "Ed, can you switch sides with me? Your automail is crushing my bones." _Shit._ She was more nervous than she'd thought she'd be.

Letting go of his arm she moved to switch places. Suddenly her brother disappeared and Mustang was there extending his elbow. Looking around she saw Al was already heading off toward the rest of Mustang's team, and was that Winry?

"I'm glad you decided to come out Edaline. You look great." Her attention snapped back to the General, glad that the mask hid her blush, "How did you know it was me?"  
He raised an eyebrow, "A little nervous Ed? I'd have thought it was obvious. You still have two automail limbs even if one is partially hidden by a glove and the other by not-quite-high-enough sexy boots. Your gargoyle mask is practically your signature, and" he paused and leaned toward her "I picked out the dress."

 _Dammit._ Clearly she was distracted. It was loud and busy and she was out of her element. Wait! _Sexy_ _boots_? She glanced at him and her train of thought derailed. Mustang in a perfectly tailored suit and waistcoat _wasn't_ helping her focus.

He noticed her looking and grinned, "Care to dance?"

She nodded, glad again for the mask. Al had someone to talk to and she could re-introduce herself to the team later. Right now the arm around her waist demanded attention.


	3. the park bench and the pervert

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

I wrote this all this morning in a couple of hours, and while i usually keep it for a few days t read over and try to correct things, I just don't feel like it. It practically wrote itself and it's short.

For anyone reading on a mobile device with an app that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

General rating, language.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

The plan was for Al to go talk to Mustang and accidentally say _she_ instead of _he_ and _sister_ instead of _brother_ until Mustang got suspicious and demanded to see Ed.

Then Al would bring Mustang to the predetermined park bench where they would 'run into' Ed and Winry who were out shopping for summer dresses.

Mustang then sees Ed in a dress and everyone has a whole park to deal with the fall out.

Not the greatest plan but Alphonse was moving back to Resembool with Winry soon and he didn't want Ed living alone with all these secrets.

Everything in Al's plan went to shit though the moment they showed up at the park. Winry and Ed were sitting on the bench _kissing_. Al froze. Was his sister actually stealing his girlfriend right in front of him? Winry pulled back, gestured to herself, gestured to Ed's mouth then kissed Ed again.

Beside him Mustang whistled, "Looks like kissing lessons… this is hot, I'm going to get closer."

Al snapped out of it. Kissing lessons? Hell no, he was _not_ comfortable with this.

He marched over to Winry and Ed interrupting the show and ignoring the groan from the bushes. His accusing glare directed at his sister. "Explain! Because it really looks like you're trying to steal my girlfriend."

Winry spoke up first, "Al. She wanted kissing lessons from someone she trusted before we left town and since she's got _no_ experience as a woman I thought I'd help out."

"Hey! I have experience!"

They both shot her a look of disbelief and she looked away, "Shut-up"

Thinking about it for a while he realised that there would be a reason she was worried about kissing in the first place and then realised he knew who that reason was. Quickly deciding that a fitting form of revenge was to throw more wood on the fire, he pointed off to the side, "If you want kissing lessons, go ask that pervert hiding in the bushes."  
The General jumped up, "I'M NOT A PERVERT!" and then reevaluated his position and conceded the fact. "Kiss her again!"

"You flame brained pervert." Ed hopped over the side of the bench and was on her way over, "hiding in the bushes? You sick son-of-a-" Mustang dodged her punch, grabbed her wrists and pinned her against a tree. His lips almost brushing hers, "I can teach you how to kiss Ed." She could feel every inch of him pressed against her, the close heat of his body even through his dress blues was turning her face red.

Al interrupted, "Ok! That's enough, I've seen my sister kissing too many people today. Yes, one is too many. Why aren't you angry or shocked about Ed?"

Mustang turned his head toward Al, not releasing Ed, "Oh, I already knew. Hawkeye told me last year. She sees _everything_ you know. I came out to see what you two were up to because there's no way you'd go four years without slipping about Ed then mess it up twice in one conversation."

Al shrugged, those were all valid points and he was about done with this whole scenario, "Ok, well you two have fun. I'll see you later Ed, Winry and I are heading off for lunch."

Mustang turned back to Ed, a wicked grin on his face. "I can't help but notice you're not fighting back."


	4. a night at the bar

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. Seems like it'd be a lot of trouble. I'm just writing for fun, no money is being made.

For anyone reading on a mobile device with an app that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

This chapter is a General rating, language.  
 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

They'd decided to go out to the pub and catch up with Fullmetal. Aside from Hawkeye, the crew hadn't seen him since he'd quit the military and started up work as freelance alchemy repair tech... or some such, and that was weeks ago. Mustang wasn't quite sure what the hell the new job was, they'd get specifics tonight anyway. Also, it was the last day Alphonse was in town before heading home to Resembool to see Winry, so a party was in order.

Hawkeye had prepped most of it, for some reason her and Ed had been spending a lot of time together in the last few months. It puzzled the General because their relationship seemed platonic, not romantic. Yet they'd go out together constantly. Maybe he'd figure that out tonight too.

They were going straight from work so they had the whole evening. Al and Ed would be meeting them at the pub. He was pretty sure Hawkeye had a gift, her bag was full, but she didn't tell the rest of them to get anything so he hadn't. They'd gathered together before walking over. Everyone was in a pretty good mood, work was done for the day and soon they'd be drinking with friends.

Five minutes into the walk, Hawkeye started a story from her academy days. It seemed a little contrived, but it was a fun story. She'd been out with friends and saw some cross dressers roaming the streets, so when her class had arrived at the bar, they decided to have a competition to see which man could look the most like a woman. The story ended with everyone being booted from the bar for mischief and scattering before the police were called to avoid expulsion from the academy. The funny part was that she'd gone to school with Falman's cousin, and he'd won the competition. The mental image had most of them in tears.

They arrived at the pub in high spirits, spotting Ed and Al immediately. Mustang ordered a round of drinks and met everyone at the table. Beer would help get him answers.

Soon enough the crew was thoroughly sloshed except Hawkeye. Mustang had slowed down a little. He still hadn't learned what Hawkeye had in her bag or why her and Ed had been spending so much time together. The beer was inhibiting his sleuthing skills.

Suddenly, or not so suddenly judging by the look on her face, Hawkeye suggested they try that thing from the story she told on the way over. She asked loudly to the table of drunks if any of them were man enough to put on a dress and have a beauty pageant. Mustang was immediately suspicious. This was way too orchestrated, something was up.

His team of idiots signed up quickly though. Havoc, Falman, Breda, Edward, Fuery, and Alphonse all wanted in, after all, their manhood had been challenged. Mustang declined, cross dressing and possible demotion if caught just wasn't an option. He was expected to be professional in all situations.

Hawkeye put names in a hat and drew to see who was first.

Falman!

The team erupted in cheers and Mustang learned what was in Hawkeye's bag. Dresses. Several thrift store dresses. She handed one to Falman to change into, giving him makup and a hairbrush as well.

Ten minutes later he came out looking, as expected, like a very large man in a dress and costume makeup. The team lost it. Shrieking with laughter and ordering another round. It was a good thing Hawkeye had gotten a side room so they could avoid bothering the other patrons.

The master of ceremonies pulled another name. Breda was up next with another dress from Hawkeye's bag. More makeup, more beer. Mustang had to admit, they were having a really great time. Maybe the clothes were just a game she wanted to relive her youth with. He started to relax, that is, until he noticed she wasn't really reading names from the hat. Just picking whomever she thought should be next. And also that Fullmetal was getting more and more anxious, it seemed the boy had sobered up a bit during Falman and Breda's modelling act.

Mustang was distracted again though, as Havoc, Fuery, and Alphonse were next up in that order.

Finally Fullmetal was up and Mustang couldn't help but notice that the kid was practically vibrating with anxiousness. He stood up and Hawkeye handed him her whole bag. His team cheered again, though he noticed that both Al and Hawkeye were giving him supportive, encouraging looks. Mustang's slightly muddled brain was just not able to put the pieces together.

Taking a deep breath, Fullmetal slammed back the rest of his beer and all but ran to the bathroom with Hawkeye's bag. He noticed Al and Hawkeye exchange a grin and settle themselves in to wait.

It took Ed longer to change but no one seemed to notice except the General. When the room to their section opened everyone turned to look and froze in place.

There was a blonde bombshell standing in the doorway. Her long wavy hair flowing over her shoulders, she'd done her eye makeup and lipstick. The dress was a very shapely knee length spring number, tailored and perfectly accenting her figure.

No one spoke. The only sound was from Havoc who had managed to take a drink right before Ed had opened the door and was now coughing his lungs out off to the side.

Finally Havoc recovered from his shock. "Uh, hi Ed. You… um… has this?... you know… since forever?"

Ed nodded.

Silence.

"Come sit down Ed. I think they all have questions for you." Ed nodded again at Hawkeye but made sure to sit between her and Al to use as a protective shield.

The questions came all at once after she'd taken her seat. Everyone but Mustang was firing their inquiries from every corner. Al and Riza were helping to answer as much as they could but even still, they were all there until early into the morning.

Eventually everyone said their goodbyes to Ed and Al and headed home, but not before making Ed promise to visit the office more often. Then it was only four of them left.

Mustang finally spoke, "Ed, I'd like to speak to you alone for a moment."

Al and Riza exchanged another look as Ed nervously agreed and they left for a quiet section of the bar.

Taking a seat, Mustang broke the silence that had gathered in their short walk. He looked her over and before she could feel too self conscious he spoke, "You look good Ed."

She smiled, "Thank you."

Silence fell again for a few minutes. "Ed I'm sorry."

That shocked her, she had been expecting anger, "What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not figuring it out myself. I'm sorry for sending you out on some of those missions. Not all of course, but a lot of them. You shouldn't have had to-"

She'd been getting angrier with him with every passing second, "What?! What are you even talking about? Are you joking? Are you really telling me right now, that if you had known i was a woman, you would have treated me completely different?"

Mustang didn't look up.  
"You utter bastard." She was practically hissing at him, "I'm not weaker for being a woman. You misogynistic prick!" She stood up to leave but he caught her arm and looked up at her, "No Ed, I didn't mean it like that. I meant the cases where the killer was looking for women. Where you would have been at risk."

She relaxed a bit, "I'm still just as strong as I was before you found out."

"I could have killed you Ed! I could have sent you into some area where you were the direct target and you could have been killed!" he looked away from her, "Oh my GOD! Those times you were kidnapped because you were the military's prodigy?!" He was talking more to himself than Ed, "A young boy gets beaten, a young girl…" Mustang looked sick to his stomach.

Ed squeezed his hand, "I'm fine Roy. I lived. I'm strong. Al's back in his body. Everything's ok now."

Mustang took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

"Look" She wasn't sure where this was going to go, but it was late. "You know I'm staying in town. How about you sleep on it and I'll come by tomorrow after you're done your paperwork. We can talk more then without the booze in our systems."

He nodded.

Ed called Hawkeye and her brother over. "Riza, i'm going to spend some time with Al before his train in a few hours. I'll come by tomorrow after work and talk to Mustang at the office."

She knew she was running away, but she needed time to think about his reaction. He hadn't been angry like she'd expected, but was guilty and upset better?... Likely not.

Al, Mustang and Riza said their goodbyes before the siblings left together. The military duo could hear their bickering all the way out of the bar,

"You just had to get a train at 7am!"

"Shut it Ed, I didn't know we'd be drinking all night!"

"Of course that was the plan. Duh!"

"I might not be a big suit of armour anymore but I can still kick your ass."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT YOU FLESHY TIN CAN?!"

"Ed that doesn't even make sense."

Mustang smiled a bit. That was still the same Ed attitude.  
He convinced Hawkeye to let him have one last shot before they left the bar, his thoughts weren't going to get any clearer anyway.

-.-.-.-notes-.-.-.-

AN: I'm probably spelling a few names wrong. Just realised that now and don't really want to go back and spell check. Also, no idea what formatting is going to look like on this, hopefully not too bad. If it's terrible I'll take it down and redo.


	5. Ed gets kidnapped, again

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

This chapter is rated M.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ed and Riza had been coming back from a show and not quite paying attention to where they were walking. Each of them laughing and joking as they recapped scenes to each other. Ed had insisted they go out after he'd come back from a backbreaking contract that morning.

If it had happened slowly they probably would have noticed, as it was, they turned one corner and suddenly there were 20 men surrounding them.

Riza had her gun instantly, she always did and the duo moved back to back ready to counter.

"Hey girly," the leader addressed Riza. "We're looking for some fun tonight. Ditch the baby boy and come play with us."

She suppressed a shudder choosing instead to raise the gun higher and put him in her sights. "No."

"Aww, come on, it'll be fun. I promise. We have a whole night of events lined up."

She tuned him out as Fullmetal started whispering to her. "Look, they don't know who or what I am. Activate your tracer and drop it in my pocket, then I'll distract them while you run for it. I can handle these idiots."

"My tracer- Where's yours?" she paused, "Nevermind." Of course Ed had probably tossed it as soon as he was out of Mustang's sight. Fuery had whipped them up for emergencies, the team each voluntarily took one and if they ever needed help they could activate them and hopefully be traced from head office. Ed's had not been voluntary, Mustang had insisted that because he was under age his participation was mandatory.

The sharpshooter grumbled at him as she retrieved hers from her jacket, "Ok, I've armed it and it's in your coat pocket. But i'm not just leaving you."

Ed huffed, "Riza, I'm _The_ Fullmetal Alchemist. I'm better at hand to hand combat than you AND I'm stronger than you. I've held back an army before." Not to mention that the team would kill Ed if anything happened to their marksman. "As soon as you empty your clip, run. That's a command from a superior officer." He thought he did a good job of keeping the nerves out of his voice; he was pretty sure he knew who these guys were and he had to get Riza out of here asap.

She glared back at him, Riza had never heard Ed pull rank on her and knew he was hiding something.

"HEY! Stop whispering over there!" The leader was getting irate. "Guys, get the girl, trash the boy."

Instantly they were mobbed. Riza didn't miss a shot and even with a full clip she was quickly out of bullets. She checked on Fullmetal and saw he was transmuting the shit out of the pavement; fists of rock were knocking guys all over the place. Something was wrong though, Fullmetal was more tired than he should have been. Did she miss something?

"Riza RUN!" Ed staggered a bit then clapped his hands and slammed them to the ground creating a covered tunnel two blocks long heading straight to headquarters. He pushed her in and sealed the entrance. As soon as the the tunnel was closed pain ripped through his body again and he screamed.

The effect was immediate. Electricity shot from his metal limbs through his body and back again. He dropped to the ground and curled in on himself. "Who the fuck brought a taser?"

"I did. And he did. And that guy over there. Actually," the leader walked up, "most of us have one. So useful! You should get one... Fullmetal."

"Fuck." Ed groaned again still on the ground. He couldn't even stand.

"Yes, yes. After that athletic display I now know who you are and you're a much better prize than your girlfriend. She just ran off and left you. How disappointing." He paused, "Well, no matter. You can play with us instead. It'll be fun to bring you down a few pegs." The leader looked away, "Rick, get the cutters, if we remove his metal hand then he's pretty much useless."

Ed groaned again trying to get up but a taser was jammed into his leg once more and everything went black.

Riza ran. She'd heard the zap of electricity. She'd heard Ed screaming in pain. He was down for sure and she couldn't do anything except run. She'd get backup and spare clips and she'd return before anything could happen. She was furious with herself for not recognising the attackers before Ed had forced her out. Focusing instead on a target, she tried to think of where Mustang would be at this hour. He'd been told to finish the paperwork before he went home so with any luck he was still sleeping at his desk in the office. And, if she could keep this pace up, she might even be there in ten minutes.

Mustang was indeed sleeping at his desk. It's not like he could help it. This stack of forms was much more comfortable than the last. Unfortunately it was interrupted when Hawkeye kicked the door in. Papers flew everywhere as he jumped up and out of sleep. "Hawkeye! I wasn't-" but she was already talking. It took a few minutes for him to compose himself and he gathered papers as he tried to listen to her mile a minute speech.

Finally he managed to understand a few words; gang, fullmetal, taser, kidnapped.

He sighed. "Again?" Then he finally looked at her. Shit, she looked beat up. Her gun was still in her hands as if she was too distracted to even remember to holster it. More shocking though were the tears that were sliding down her face.  
"Sir. I was with Fullmetal earlier and we were attacked and I only had one clip and they tasered him and my tracer is in his pocket if it hasn't been blown up and do we have the sonar here?"

She didn't wait and ran back into the main room rummaging through the boxes from their recent office move.

He followed her out of his office, "Slow down lieutenant. Who has Fullmetal?" She looked at him then through his office door at the blue file to the side of his desk. Mustang followed her gaze and swore. "I'll call Fuery, you call Havoc. Get Havoc to call Breda and Falman. I'll find the sonar."

Riza calmed down a notch. Orders meant there was a plan and plans meant they were doing something.

Fuery was the first to arrive as he was only staying in the barracks and together they found the sonar. He set to work setting it up and had Fullmetal's signal within minutes. Hawkeye and Mustang set to work on a plan of attack while Fuery found the exact address. When Havoc, Breda, and Falman arrived Mustang laid out the plan.

It looked like they'd dragged Ed to an old waterfront warehouse. Not very original, but on the plus side, not too far from their current location and it would be easier to round up the bad guys.

Havoc was still in high spirits. This wasn't Ed's first kidnapping and most of the time he'd got himself out of the situation before they'd even known he was in trouble. "Sir, who's taken him this time?"

Mustang hesitated, he didn't really want to answer but gestured to the file he'd brought out anyway. The blue file, the one about the lethal group of kidnappers and rapists they'd been chasing for over a month.

Havoc laughed nervously, "Trust the chief to put an end to our case the second he gets back into town." but his face fell and the tension in the room increased. "What do they want with him anyway? Their entire victim list is women."

Riza was anxious and jumpy, she felt guilty even though she knew she hadn't had a choice. "They were after me but Ed distracted them and blocked me from helping." She looked down at the floor when Mustang looked at her, there was something missing from the story. The group they were looking for never took hostages. If a man tried to save his girlfriend and she got away then they just plain murdered him in the street. They didn't drag him back to base.

Mustang shook his head, they didn't have time to debate motive, "Havoc, you're with Hawkeye and me. Breda, you're with Fuery and Falman in his car."

They arrived at the warehouse with the cars on idle and the headlights cut. As they got closer they could hear Fullmetal's yelling. The General almost laughed, at least he was giving his captors a hard time. Then suddenly the yelling was replaced with a piercing scream. Mustang was sure he'd never heard the boy scream like that before. Actually, thinking about it he wasn't sure if he'd ever heard him scream at all. And definitely not like this, it was a mix of anger and pain and fear. Mustang was starting to get angry. Whoever the fuck was causing his youngest subordinate to make that sound was going to be seeing the inside of a cell through a black eye very shortly. He had to wait though. The rest of his team needed to cover all exits before he could bust in the front door and beat these guys senseless.

Finally Jean signaled that everyone was in place and Mustang slipped in the front door. They had to find Fullmetal first before they raised suspicion. His team had been ordered to quietly dispatch anyone coming or going and Hawkeye was diligently doing the same at his back as they crept through the warehouse. Fortunately, it _was_ a warehouse, so there were only about four small offices and then the one big storage area.

The offices were easy to clear, three were empty and the fourth was a break room with only two people in it, so that left the large storage area. Roy had been about to tie up the two but Hawkeye got in the way and just shot them. He frowned at her but let it slide, he could figure out what was up with her later. They headed silently toward the end of the hall. It was crucial they find an entrance without getting caught, the more people they could take out at once the better.

Through the small window in the door they saw some crates just off to the left. They could sneak in and duck behind those to get a good layout of the room. Hawkeye opened the door a fraction and slipped out. Mustang was right behind her. Well, he was, until he took a look around the storage area.

When Mustang laid eyes on the scene he had a second to be confused before the reality of the situation became clear. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

There was Fullmetal. Hanging naked from the ceiling by his-nope, that's definitely a her. _She_ was hanging by her wrist from a rope tied to the ceiling. He was tempted to believe it was someone else entirely but he couldn't mistake blonde hair, gold eyes and two automail appendages for anyone else. She was still yelling and screaming, her feet dangling a few inches off the ground. There were about 50 men around her and many of them were pressing tasers into her and laughing. Her automail arm was missing a hand and hanging limp; her flesh arm was supporting the weight of her entire body _and_ the two automail limbs. Mustang knew each of those weighed about a hundred pounds, and they appeared to be useless due to electrical shortage. _Fucking hell, they've had her for only an hour and there's already so much damage._ Most of her skin was bruised and the tasers had left small burn marks all over her body. The skin that connected to her automail showed signs of electrical burn as well.

Suddenly Ed stopped yelling, too terrified to move. A few of the men had approached her and were running their hands over her skin. Squeezing her ass, licking her breasts and neck and face. One ran his hand between her thighs causing her to kick out with her working leg. It collided with the intended assailant but another man grabbed her ankle and held it out of the way so the pervert could continue.

Immediately the abuse stopped and she noticed the jackass had a bullet hole in his head. _Hawkeye was here!_

"Hah! You're fucked!" She yelled horsely at them, "I was going to warn you but I didn't want to ruin the surprise". Her false bravado was more for her sake than anyone else's. Mustang could hear the tremble in her voice and was quickly losing his self control. It was too much to think about right now and because anger was already present it jumped straight into the driver's seat. Fullmetal was his and _she_ was being tortured. The fire was already beyond his current capacity for containment, this was only going to get worse.

She watched as the men closest to her caught fire. Then more of them. Some had bullet holes in their heads and _then_ they were on fire. Usually she wanted criminals to face justice and imprisonment but this time she couldn't bring herself to feel anything. Flames were jumping all over the warehouse, crate to vehicle and to crate again, and whenever some misguided thug got too close to her they were incinerated.

Her saviors were still running toward her and as they finally came into view she realised their shapes were blurry because she had been crying. Only when they got closer was she able to read the emotions on their faces; Hawkeye was angry and Mustang was deadly. When her eyes finally met with his she understood his intent; no one he saw as an enemy was leaving here alive.

As Mustang got closer Ed's injuries became clearer and he tried to catalogue each of them before lifting her up and burning through the rope supporting her. Her arm fell limp beside her as she pressed her forehead to his chest. "Just in time Mustang."

She took a deep breath and relief flooded through her, she found she couldn't even bring herself to call him names.

Then the shock hit her and she started shaking, _no! she couldn't break down yet. there was work to do!_ She shook her head and tried to take another deep breath to steady herself. The shaking hadn't stopped but she didn't focus on that, they were still in danger and the building was burning down around them. She swallowed her some of her fear, "We'll have to remove my automail. It's melted together in some places and completely unsalvageable, plus I'll be lighter to carry without it. Also," she winced "it seems my left arm has no strength left." She paused again, "Wait, first I need to be sick. Riza? Help?"

Hawkeye didn't hesitate, taking Ed from Mustang's arms she helped her lean over a few paces away, holding her hair back while the younger girl emptied her stomach until she was dry heaving. There were bruises around her neck which showed up very clear and very dark now that there wasn't hair covering them, Hawkeye exchanged a look with her superior while trying not to accidentally touch the area. With a few more hacks and coughs the girl spit out the last of the bad taste, "Ok, m'ready."

Mustang didn't respond but when she looked up at him it seemed to be more about keeping his rage in check than him not having anything to say. She watched him as he helped Riza set her on her working leg and followed his arms as he wrapped his long coat around her. The military grade cloth was rough against her damaged skin but she'd rather be covered. They should be heading outside soon anyway. _Where had her clothes gone?_ She put her arm through the jacket sleeve and tried to hold the coat open so they could remove her false limbs. She braced herself just before the General disconnected her arm and seconds later her leg came off as well. Tossing the metal away he pulled the coat closed around her then scooped her up and left the building. Hawkeye followed closely behind.

They exited through a different door so they could find Havoc and it turned out he'd caught the leader trying to escape. When Ed caught sight of the man's face she flinched away and pressed a little closer into Roy's chest.

That was enough conviction for Mustang. He broke the guy's legs and Havoc dragged him back into the burning building with the others. Despite the man's gruesome fate, seeing the source of her torture being dragged off by Havoc made her feel lighter. Much lighter. Almost peaceful, her eyes started sliding closed. Knowing it was just her brain shutting down now that she was safe, she let herself pass out. Someone would wake her if there was trouble… she was pretty sure anyway.

The General knew he still had some cleanup to do and reluctantly handed Ed to a returning Havoc. He needed to do a round of the building and dispose of anyone the others had found trying to escape. When Havoc finally looked at Ed, his eyebrows shot up in shock. He would have shouted but Mustang shook his head and motioned for them to go to the car before running off around the corner.

As he came up to each exit he dismissed his team with a signal to head for the cars. If there were captured thugs he threw them back into the building and melted the door closed. He rounded the building to the front and started to hear sirens in the distance. Better leave before this required explaining.

His crew was ready to go. Breda had arrived just before Mustang and at Riza's instruction, took off in Falman's car with Fuery and Falman. They were not to go to the office and instead go straight home and await orders. Roy made sure Havoc was in the back seat of his car with Ed still in his arms and then jumped in the font before Riza took off. He still hadn't said anything and focused hard on the remains of the building to make sure it was burning as hot as it could. He'd make damn sure there would be no evidence in that entire mess.

Ed woke up warm and comfortable, so maybe that's why she didn't realise there was an arm around her waist. As her brain started to function she opened her eyes to try and get her bearings. This had to be Roy's house, his smell was all over it. As she looked around she realised she was wearing Roy's clothes as pajamas, then finally, that she was in Roy's arms and in his bed. Her heart skipped a beat and she found she liked it. She started to snuggle in closer, it was a little hard to do while missing an arm and a leg- her memories came flooding back. The pain of the tasers was quickly replaced by the fear and revulsion of being tied up naked, hung from the ceiling and groped. _They had been licking her!_ Her stomach was already empty but that didn't stop her body from convulsing.

"Shh shh. It's ok Ed. I've got you." Roy's arms pulled her in closer and tucked her body into his more firmly. "I'm here. Deep breath Fullmetal. Breathe in." She was so embarrassed, and she couldn't stop shaking. She was being weak in front of Mustang! "Focus on me Ed. I've got you." and he was being so _nice_. "Come on Ed, just listen to my voice. I'm here." Her brain wouldn't shut up so she tried to focus like he said and listen for once.

Eventually she was able to stop convulsing and hyperventilating but wasn't so lucky with the shaking or the tears. "They took my hand. They zapped me until I couldn't move then they took my hand!" Roy felt his anger rising again but knew he needed to let her talk. He had to be calm to help her stay calm.

It didn't work though, she felt the muscles in his arms and chest tighten up and correctly interpreted his rage. She took a deep breath, "Sorry Sir. I'm a bit out of it. Can I give my report later?" Mustang's eyes went wide, "For fuck sakes Ed, now is not the time for reports." Nevermind that she'd left the military when her contract expired a few months back. She was still mumbling, "But you need your report..." Clearly her brain wasn't functioning properly. He pulled her in even closer, "Rest Fullmetal. We'll deal with all that later." Besides, there didn't need to be a report. He'd pretty much erased all the evidence, and there was no one to convict. _because he'd killed them all._ He squeezed his eyes shut. He'd deal with that later too. His subordinates were his first priority, even if they weren't his responsibility anymore.

Ed woke up again a few hours later. Mustang had learned his lesson the first time and stayed in bed with her. When he had tried to leave earlier she'd lasted two minutes before she started crying and shouting. He berated himself for even trying to get up. There's no way she didn't have nightmares _before_ tonight and there's no way tonight made it better.

She went through the same pattern: happiness, realisation, fear, disgust, confusion. Then out again into unconsciousness. Each time the confusion was a little less and the fear was a little more subdued. There was another emotion he knew they'd have to get through later. Guilt. Guilt for making him kill people. For being the cause of their deaths. He didn't see it that way but knew she'd try to take the blame for it even if they did attack and abuse her. He'd try to make her see that it had been his choice to let the anger take over, and his inability to control his rage that had killed them, not her.

Thinking back he was a bit shocked that he'd been that far gone. He'd been upset to learn Ed had been kidnapped again, but that was before he had seen her tied to the ceiling weighed down by her automail, bruises and burns covering her entire body, those men _touching_ her like that…

 _fuck, i almost lost it again_. he couldn't picture it without the same emotions flooding his system. He took a few moments to calm himself. It was ok now, Ed was here, in his arms. Safe.

She was starting to wake up again. Her body turned slightly and she buried her face in his neck. "I'm sorry Mustang." He sighed, here it was, as expected. He cut her off, "No Ed. None of this is your fault. None of it."

"But you had to-"

"NO! Listen Ed, I've killed a lot more people for a hell of a lot less. I wish I could have found you sooner."

Her voice was quieter, "I could have been stronger."

He growled, his voice was deep and right next to her ear, "Ed, come on. You're ridiculously clever. Stay with me on this. Strangers abducted you. They hurt you." _not too specific now mustang, don't need to recap a night of trauma_ "and they're gone now. I'm not happy with what i did, but I'm very happy that you're safe. In no way could any of this be your fault."

She stopped arguing but didn't remove her face from his neck. If she was still letting him comfort her then she was still a long way from being herself.

"Ed is short for Edaline." He felt her lips smile against his skin. "Tell me a story Roy, I like your voice."

Yup, it'd be a while before Fullmetal was back.

He didn't hesitate, "Sure thing Ed.

Once there was a dashing young prince and he was known as the Flame Alchemist." He smiled when he heard her giggle. "He was the sexiest prince there ever was and he knew that one day he'd become ruler of all the land."


	6. something about windows

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

I wrote and edited this one this morning. The idea had been kicking around in my head for a while so I think it was easy to write out. I have a few more ideas left, some partially written, they're failing at the end and i need to figure out how to finish them.

There's an extra chapter to this over at Ao3 if anyone's over 18 and interested.

I'd also like to thank my one reviewer that's written nice things about all my chapters. THANK YOU! Hopefully this chapter lives up to your standards.

General rating. Language.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Night had fallen and finally the General had finished his paperwork for the week. He'd stayed at work late tonight so he could have Friday off and he was excited for the free day with nothing to do but sleep, eat, and delve into some alchemy books he'd picked up on his previous trip to the shops. Standing and stretching he decided to go for a walk around the grounds before heading home, the cool crisp air crawling in through the window had pulled mischief from his brain, maybe he could garner secrets from other late workers. Trading his military blue for a long black jacket he set off around the grounds in search of juicy information.

In the dark courtyard he could see into lit up windows easily, Colonel Tsi's wife had brought him coffee late at night again, they preferred having sex in his office to their home and while _that_ fact was widely known, Mustang was sure he was the only one that knew the receptionist joined them, frequently. A few windows down Lieutenant Huff was staying late to repair the phone line in his boss's office again, but Mustang already knew Huff sabotaged the phone just to stay late with the repair man. He shook his head and kept walking, one day that man's technically challenged superior would figure out that phones needed to be plugged in to work.

This was all boring, nothing new to see tonight. Mustang turned to head home and was knocked off his feet by a cadet rounding the corner of the barracks. It was clear the cadet didn't recognise him in the black coat, "Oops. Sorry about that," he helped Mustang back to his feet, "We're going to be late, come on." The man took off down the side of the dorms and Mustang followed. This might be interesting.

Walking after the cadet Mustang noticed that along the wall _all_ the lights were out. In _every_ window. Odd. As he walked farther a single lit window came into view, as well as quite a few cadets staring into it, the mass of people outside explained why there were no lights inside. He saw that they'd arranged themselves far enough away not to be seen by the room's occupant and had made sure to stay out of the light spot the bulb on the inside created. Approaching the huddle he noticed the window contained a blonde woman in the shower and Mustang was immediately glad he'd followed the cadet. As they stood there watching a small tick started to twitch at the back of his brain; and no, it wasn't that they were invading this woman's privacy, or that she was in the male dorms. Something else, something the slowly fogging window was hiding from him.

"We've been trying to figure out how they do it, how they get a girl in and out without anyone noticing." The cadet from earlier was beside him.

"How who does it?"

"The Elrics." Mustang's blood froze in his veins but the cadet continued unaware of the General's reaction beside him. "This woman is there every night they are. I think she's with Fullmetal because if he stays out at the library then she doesn't show up."

Silence fell again and eventually the window fogged up too much to see anything, the cadets wandering off back to their rooms. Mustang stayed frozen in place. _Was that really Fullmetal?_ It was harder to tell now that he'd got his real arm back but he was pretty sure with the placement of the window and where the floor would be inside, the height would be correct. The hair colour was definitely correct and while the eyes hadn't been visible, Mustang was pretty sure he'd seen scars on the right shoulder before the window fogged up too much to see.

The light turned off and snapped him out of his thoughts. One easy way to figure this out. He turned and marched into the dorms.

Alphonse answered the door, Mustang could tell the boy was shocked to see him. Nervous even. "May I speak to Fullmetal?"

"He's just getting out of the shower." Alphonse ran over to the bathroom door. Mustang stepped inside and closed the door behind him while watching every detail, had the boy just stopped the bathroom door from opening?

"Ed, the General is here to see you."

A string of curses flew from the room followed by, "Tell that bastard to go home, it's after hours."

"I'm not leaving Ed, I need to speak to you."

More curses, lots of shuffling. Al stepped away and finally Ed emerged dressed in a t-shirt and boxers. "What the fuck do you want?"

Mustang looked him over, there was the slightest hint of bandages under the t-shirt but he didn't need any more proof than knowing Ed had been the one in the shower.

Just to make sure though, "Are you two the only two people in this dorm room?"

"Yes! What the fuck kind of question is that? You came here this late to-"

"Ed!" The command was sharp and clear.

Ed shut up.

"There were a group of cadets outside just now."

Ed looked at the door in confusion, "Who the fuck cares if-"

"Outside your bathroom window." Mustang remained calm, watching their reactions.

Alphonse looked shocked then scared. He ran to the bathroom and they could feel the zap as the window was turned into a wall, then ran back passed them and outside to check his work from the other side.

Ed's face was always easy to read and the General watched as Fullmetal's thoughts raced across. Checking off each item in a predictable list.

Cheeks turning red: Embarrassment from being seen

Eyes down, grimace turned inward: Stupidity of not thinking about the window

Frowning, eyes at the door: Anger at the cadets

Frowning, eyes wider and focussed on him: Guilt for not telling him the secret

Clenched teeth, eyes narrowed, still on him: Anger at-

"You sonofabitch! You just stood out there and watched?!"

He sighed, "Fullmetal, I was out there for two seconds. The window fogged up and I came straight here." Mostly the truth.

She stared at him, the blush returning to her cheeks. "Liar."

He ignored it, "The cadets think you have a girlfriend you sneak in and out. They can't figure out how you do it so maybe just tell them you broke up." He let that sit for a second, "In exchange for my silence I want your name and age." Not a steep price but he would have kept the secret anyway.

Her eyes narrowed. "How do you know I'm not the same age?"  
Mustang's eyes flicked to the bathroom before he could stop himself. There's no way the body he saw was as young as she professed.

"I knew it. You're such a pervert." Taking a deep breath she looked him straight in the eyes, " I'm 20, and my name is Edaline."

The General nodded, "Report to my office Monday, I have a mission for you." Then he turned and left almost running into Alphonse who'd been hiding behind the door and was clearly avoiding the conversation. As the door closed he heard Al asking for details and Ed fall into a chair grumbling to herself.

Only when he arrived home did he realise he had a new problem: the image of the beautiful blonde in the shower would not leave his head. Edaline Elric, aged 20. Long hair, gold eyes, smooth skin covered in soap bubbles… _Fucking dammit!_ Once again Fullmetal had managed to ruin his weekend without even trying. How the hell was he supposed to sleep now?


	7. hospital visit

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I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

For anyone reading on a mobile device that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

General rating.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-

It had taken four years but finally Ed and Al had found the steps they needed to take to put Al back into his body, they'd also found a place that was secure and large enough to complete the work. Ed had painted the transmutation circle on the ground and they'd gathered all the parts they needed to begin, Ed just had one more thing to do before they started.

He had to call Mustang. They'd both decided that they needed someone to come by afterward in case anything went wrong; if any more monsters or homunculi appeared from the gate they couldn't let them wander around causing trouble. And 'trouble' was putting it lightly.

It would take about forty minutes for Mustang and Hawkeye to get to this location from the Office, thirty if Mustang was driving. Hopefully they wouldn't need that time. The gate was unpredictable but all their other 'transactions' had been fairly quick so they should be able to wrap this up shortly. And, if everything went right then Ed would need help getting Al to a hospital.

He found a payphone and dialed the office, dispatch put him through and Mustang grabbed the line,

"Ed? What's happening? You were supposed to be here this morning with a report of what you'd found on your last mission. Are you ok-"

The concern he could hear in the General's voice bothered him and he cut him off, "We're fine. We found a way to get Al back into his body."

"What-"

"We're starting in a minute, we've already drawn the circle. If you leave soon you should arrive as we finish up and from what I saw last time I was at the gate Al will need to get to the hospital."

"ED! DON'T START WITHOU-"

"We'll be under laboratory 5."

Ed hung up on him. No time for doubts now.

He headed back into the cleared out basement of the lab and met up with Al who was doing one last round verifying the circle. Time to get Al's body back.

The line went dead and Mustang freaked out. That little brat! He was going to get himself and his little brother killed. He needed to get to lab 5 immediately. Gathering his team they took off, Mustang was driving.

He entered the basement of lab 5 filled with worry, the gloves were on, firearm ready. His eyes landed on two figures; they were breathing! Relief swept through him and he hurried over to check vitals. Hawkeye was already surveying the room with the team to check for any monsters the gate might have sent after them. Al was closer, and although he seemed extremely malnourished and weak, he was breathing and his heartbeat was steady.

Ed was a different matter, the automail on his arm had been destroyed taking some of the port with it, blood was pouring out and while he _was_ breathing, it was erratic and shallow. Mustang wrapped his coat around the shoulder and while applying pressure, lifted Fullmetal into his arms to carry him out of the building. Havoc and Breda could take care of Alphonse and they'd brought several cars to the lab not knowing who would need to go where.

He barked an order to his Lieutenant, "Falman, hospital, you're driving." There was no way he was removing pressure from the wound or releasing his charge until there were multiple doctors ready to help.

Falman got them to the hospital in ten minutes and at the sight of their dress blues several doctors surrounded them. Mustang handed Ed over to the assembled team of medics and followed them into the operating room; they weren't going to be able to dismiss a General.

Mustang tuned out their hurried instructions to each other and focused on Ed's face from his vantage point near the foot of the room. He'd already lost enough blood to drain him of colour and though the general didn't like admitting it to himself, he was actually scared for the boy.

It wasn't long but eventually the voices in the room started making their way into his head again, "Put her on the IV." … "She's got a steady pulse."

A doctor appeared in front of him, "Sir, her heart is strong and her shoulder has been wrapped. The wound has been sealed without damaging the nerves and we're confident her automail can be reattached. We're taking her to intensive care if you'd like to follow."

Mustang snapped out of his thoughts for a moment and nodded. Something they were saying wasn't making sense but he was still too worried about Ed's health to process it so he followed them to the room.

He found a visitor's chair when he entered the room and from there he watched as they placed their patient on the bed and hooked up the life support systems required. As he watched Ed breathe it occurred to him that some of the bandages on his chest were a little excessive. Why would they need to bandage his whole chest for a shoulder wound? And what was with the extra padding… his brain stopped, then started again as all the words from the operating room came tumbling to the forefront of his thoughts. _her heart… she's got… her automail..._

FullMetal is woman? Had the gate done this as some sort of trade off?

His thoughts were interrupted when Hawkeye entered the room. "Sir, Alphonse has been put in the short term care ward. He's steady and asking for Ed but the staff aren't going to let him leave his room, I was hoping you could report while I stay here." She looked at the expression on his face. "Or give me the specifics and I'll pass them on."

Mustang gestured toward the hospital bed, "She's stable but weak. I'm sure we can get Alphonse in here tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" she saluted and turned to leave.

Mustang knew his friend, he'd known her for a very long time and was able to tell when she was shocked or startled even though she tried hard to hide it. This time though, this time she was neither, which could only mean one thing.

His voice stopped her on the way out, "you knew."

She was facing away from him but he saw her head bow slightly, "yes sir."

He sighed, he wasn't really mad at her, he could have been but it wouldn't change anything. "It's ok Riza." he was still a bit hurt about being left out though, "It wasn't your secret, and at least Ed had someone to confide in."

"Sir. She does not know I know. And since her and Alphonse seemed intent on keeping it a secret, I did not believe it was my place to tell."

She waited a moment, but when she heard no further questions she left to give Al the news. It was clear that Mustang was going to need some time to think.

The General didn't leave the room all through the night and morning found him still awake keeping an ear on Ed's vitals. Ed hadn't moved but her colour had returned and she seemed to be breathing normally. It wasn't until the orderly's shift change that she awoke shouting Al's name.

Mustang jumped from his chair to stop her from getting out of bed.

"It's ok Ed. Al is alive. He's doing great. He's just getting some rest, his body is very weak." Her eyes were wild and unfocused as she shouted for Al again. "Fullmetal! Focus! Al is alive!"

That got her, her eyes locked onto his, nervous but hopeful. "He's back? He's in his body?"

"Yes Ed. He'll be by in a bit to see you."

She fell back on the bed crying in relief. Her arm covered her face as if to hide the tears but the shaking was still present in her voice. "Can you get him? I need to see him."

Mustang nodded at the orderly and she left.

"Ed?"

"Mmm?"  
"You need a shirt."

The arm slowly moved away from her face and she looked at Mustang with wide eyes, only now realising that she wasn't wearing a hospital gown and that the bandages were all that was keeping her chest from being exposed. He held out a top that Hawkeye had grabbed from the hospital shop and helped her put it on.

She was clearly unsettled as he helped her with the shirt and wouldn't look him in the eye, she opened and closed her mouth several times as if trying to find the right words.

"It's ok Ed." Mustang cut off anything she was about to say, "Be happy. Your mission is complete. Al has been returned to his original body and aside from some malnutrition, seems to be happy and healthy."

She let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.  
"I would still like to talk to you though. I've spent the entire night replaying every conversation we've ever had and it's changed a lot of the context-"

He didn't get to finish. Al was pushed into the room on a wheelchair followed by Hawkeye and the rest of his team. He silently thanked his first lieutenant for keeping them out all night so he could be alone with his thoughts. There had been a lot to go through and while he knew it was selfish, it wasn't like they were missing anything, Ed had slept the entire time.

The room had erupted into chaos. Congratulations were in order and his crew had a million questions for the female Ed. Apparently Alphonse had been shouting about his sister Edaline in his sleep and while he seemed a bit embarrassed that he gave up her secret, their goal was now accomplished and secrets were no longer needed.


	8. a letter is written

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

For anyone reading on a mobile device that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

General rating, language.

 _italics are inside thoughts. or a letter. or emphasis._

 _also, why the hell doesn't this upload thing let me do 'strikeout' text. it would have made the scribble letter look better. ff-dot-net please bring back strikeout formatting._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ed kicked in the door to General Mustang's office early in the afternoon and slammed a report down on his desk. "Read it now." he demanded before retreating to a chair in the far corner of the room.

Mustang rolled his eyes, "Ed, I've got piles of work to do _and_ I didn't send you on a mission. What are you even reporting on?"

"Just read the damn report Mustang. It's not like you want to do your paperwork anyway."

The General raised an eyebrow at Ed, it looked suspiciously like the boy was hiding in the corner and it seemed like he was ready to transmute an escape hatch through the wall at any moment.

Looking back at the report didn't make him feel any less annoyed than the pile of paperwork beside him, it was written in heavy black marker and there were scratched out words and scribbles all over it and the paper itself looked like it had been crushed into a ball at some point. Sighing he settled in to read.

 _General Mustang*scribble*_  
 _Roy*scribble*_  
 _ **bastard**_  
 _there's this thing about me*scribble*_  
 _I have something to tell you*scribble*_  
 _ **i've been lying to you.**_  
 _ **I wasn't sure how to say it so i'm writing it.**_  
 _ **I'm not a year older than Al, I'm five years older than Al.**_  
 _ **And my name is Edaline, not Edward.**_  
 _you might be mad*scribble*_  
 _you're probably mad*scribble*_  
 _ **i know you're mad but i needed military resources. the odds of getting in as a woman were significantly lower than if i were an man.**_  
 _ **so**_  
 _ **there you go.**_

signed _ **: Edaline Elric the Amazing Fullmetal Alchemist**_

Roy read the paper three times before he felt comfortable lifting his head to acknowledge Ed in the corner of the room. This was a lot to process, _if_ it was even true. When he saw Ed she was no longer sitting and had moved a bit nearer to the door. He stared at her as she edged her way closer and closer to escape.

"Stop moving."

She stopped.

"In case you were wondering, Yes. I do have questions, _Edaline_. First, not really a question. I don't believe you, prove it."

He didn't look like he was joking. How was she supposed to prove she was a woman? She sure as shit wasn't taking her top off.

"What do you want me to do Mustang? Punch myself in the crotch? Because it's not going to hurt."

He flinched at that visual. "No, thank you. I'll settle for a birth certificate."

She grimaced, "I kind of set fire to the records hall in Resembool so that you wouldn't be able to do a background check."

He rolled his eyes. _Of course you did._ "No matter, two copies are made so we can keep backups here in Central, how else would we know who could join the service? They're in the records section of the … library." _shit._ that building had been destroyed too.

"That wasn't me! I wasn't even here."

He'd forgotten the library was blown up. He sighed, "Go get Sheska then, we'll see if she had a chance to read birth certificates."

Ed ran from the room happy to get away from the whole situation and almost knocking Hawkeye over in her retreat.

The markswoman sent Mustang a questioning glance and he waved the paper at her. "Ed wrote this letter saying she's a woman and I'm making her go get proof."  
"Why?"

The question was so abrupt that he sputtered a bit. "What do you mean 'why?' because you can't just go around saying you're someone else all of a sudden."

She kept looking at him.

"Shit it's true isn't it?"

She nodded.

"And you've known for how long?"

"Since she was able to change her brother back last year. I was with her at the hospital afterward."

 _Fuck._ "And you didn't tell me because…"

Hawkeye shrugged, "Not my secret to tell."

Mustang took advantage of the childish moment he was having, he balled up the paper Ed had written and threw it at Hawkeye. It bounced harmlessly off the side of her head and she rolled her eyes.

"Ed knows that I know." She waited for her commanding officer to catch on and when he did he smacked himself in the face, "She's not getting Sheska is she?"

Hawkeye shook her head.

"Why tell me now?"

Hawkeye had several reasons but decided on the easiest, "She's out of the military in a month and I don't think she liked keeping it from you."

Mustang dismissed her and turned to look out the window, contemplating his lieutenant's response. _still, why now?_

He watched as FullMetal practically flew out the front doors of HQ knocking new recruits aside, using alchemy to bank her corners as she ran away laughing. He chuckled to himself, "21 years old?" Maybe he did know why, fraternization laws and all…

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Short chapter.

The line "piles of paperwork" was originally "a tonne of paperwork" but when i looked up how much a 'ton' was to see the comparison i learned that even though 'ton' is imperial and 'tonne' is metric, 'tonne' is used more for measured quantities whereas 'ton' is used for imperial measured quantities AND as a synonym for 'a lot', 'a large number of', etc.

So my line would have been, "a ton of paperwork" and then i realised that 'ton' was just too short for my liking and i scrapped the whole damn thing like porky pig.

Anyway, if anyone is interested. 'Tonne' = 1000 Kilos = 2240 pounds. 'Ton' = 2000 pounds. 'Ton' = a lot.


	9. a nap at the library

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Back from vacation and I'm not apologising for the gap in time. Vacation is vacation.

Someone asked for more of a chapter (6?) and i've written most of it, but they wanted more because it was fun, and now i made it sad. Whoops. At least it's twice as long as these single chapter bits.

The less reviews i get the less motivated i am to write more, so… ball's in your court people.

Have a good weekend!

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

For anyone reading on a mobile device that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

General rating, language.

 _italics are inside thoughts. or a letter. or emphasis._

-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Mustang didn't get many chances to go to the library, usually there were pages and interns to do that work for him. That's not to say that he didn't enjoy going just that he didn't feel he needed to. This trip was personal though, to see if there'd been anything new added about flame alchemy. If there was he was unashamedly going to burn it. Then he'd send someone to keep an eye on the author to make sure no other books were written.

When he came around the corner to the more dangerous theories of alchemy he was startled but not surprised to see FullMetal sleeping face down on a pile of books. Apparently his _go-to-the-library-at-midnight-to-avoid-other-people_ plan only worked if you didn't count Ed as 'people'. It was almost predictable, he'd been in charge of Ed for two years now and at 14 the kid was proving to be quite a handful. When he took the kid in Mustang knew he'd signed on to be more than a superior officer, he just hadn't realised it would be so tiring. Deciding to leave the kid there for a while he continued on his quest, Ed would probably wake up on his own anyway.

Two hours later Mustang came out of the stacks, he hadn't found anything new but had distracted himself with some other interesting information and forgotten the time. He'd also almost forgotten about his subordinate. Almost. Indeed, Ed was still there and still sleeping. Not a hair had moved and he showed no signs of waking up in the foreseeable future. The Colonel thought briefly about leaving him but then decided that the library wasn't exactly the coziest of places and the kid would probably catch a cold if he slept here all night. He definitely _did not_ want to deal with a germ covered teenage alchemist. Not after the last time.

Approaching the blond warily he shook Fullmetal's shoulder and stepped back to avoid any possible negative reactions... nothing. Becoming braver he approached again and knocked his knuckles on the top of Ed's head, "Anyone home?", again nothing. Frowning, he crouched down and jabbed him in the gut with a stray pencil, still nothing. No movement from the sleeping alchemist. Mustang considered the situation for a while then slowly a mischievous grin spread across his face.

Walking around behind the chair he grabbed the back of it and shook violently, "EARTHQUAKE!"

Ed fell out of the chair and slumped onto the floor. Still sleeping.

Mustang was annoyed, how Ed always managed to annoy him so completely he never knew. The kid wasn't even awake and he'd done it perfectly.

Ed mumbled and snuggled into the floor, his shirt riding up the smallest amount. Mustang noticed though, he noticed because there was bandage type cloth poking out from under the shirt. He knelt down next to his coma patient and poked him in the side a little farther up. _Still bandages here too_. "Ed, are you hiding injuries again?"

No answer. But he wasn't really expecting one.

Ed rolled over onto his back causing the shirt to ride up a little more, exposing even more bandages wrapped around his middle. Mustang was about to investigate further before realising how it would look if Ed woke up or worse, if someone came into this section of the library at 2am to see him undressing an unconscious fourteen year old boy. There was absolutely no way to explain that scenario and he shivered in horror at what that would do to his reputation. Better to just get the kid back to his dorm room.

He scooped Ed up off the floor and then froze. True, he had little experience carrying children, and no experience carrying teenagers. However, he had a LOT of experience carrying women. Mostly to bed. He knew how their middles were softer and their hips were curvier. He knew what they felt like when they were pressed against him. And he knew instantly that the person he currently held in his arms was full grown female. No question.

Except there were a lot of questions and the longer he stood there the faster they flew at him, some accompanied with answers he hadn't known he knew.

Bandages.

Short jokes.

Fear of hospitals.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked down at Fullmetal still sleeping in his arms. It took him a long while to reconcile this face with the one he'd been taunting earlier and now that he could clearly see her face he learned why his 'earthquake' plan hadn't worked. There were huge bags under her eyes giving him the impression that she hadn't slept in a very long time. He wasn't sure how much time had passed as he stared at her but eventually Fullmetal mumbled and it surprised Mustang enough that he almost dropped her. In response to his reaction, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his neck.

Mustang was at a loss. He still had to get Ed back to the barracks but wasn't sure if his legs actually still worked. He wiggled his toes and they responded. Ok. He could do this. One foot, two foot, left foot… yeah, it better not be blue, he was counting on it.

Eventually the Colonel mastered the art of walking and got himself and Ed out of the library without further issues. And, it wasn't _that_ far to the barracks. Though the longer he held Ed the more she seemed to weigh. He started muttering to himself, "Jeeze Ed, how do you walk around in this stuff? Your automail weighs a tonne."

Bad idea asking her questions, even indirectly, with her face pressed into his neck. Especially after jostling her out of a coma and into normal sleep. Her answer was incoherent but the movement of her lips against his skin almost made him falter in his steps. _Oh shit! Were those her teeth?!_ She'd opened her mouth to yawn and scraped one of her incisors along his throat. His grip tightened on her and he switched all of his efforts into keeping his vision straight and his feet moving forward. _Almost there. Keep your mind out of the gutter_. He was concentrating so hard on not thinking bad things about the girl in his arms that he almost missed a flash in the distance. _Damn, was that lightning?_ The rain would definitely wake Ed and he didn't want to be anywhere near her when that happened. She'd probably wake up screaming that he was a pervert and that he'd kidnapped her. He prayed the rain let off until he got Ed home.

Mustang knocked with his foot and Alphonse was at the door in moments. Surveying the situation he moved his giant metal body to the side and let the frazzled Mustang in, then pointed to Ed's room.

"What happened? Is brother ok?"

"Yeah, she's fine. She just fell asleep in the library. I figured I'd bring her back here."

Alphonse went quiet.

Mustang put his charge on her bed before turning to Alphonse, "Don't worry Al, I won't tell. I just have to do a background check."

"...Ok."

"How old is she actually and what's her name?"

Alphonse hesitated at first, but then narrowed his eyes at the Colonel and shared his sister's secret, "Edaline. And she's 18."

 _Oh thank christ!_

The relief must have shown on the Colonel's face because the suit of armour full on glared at him. "If you're not going to tell anyone, why do you need to do a background check?"

Uhh…

"What happened at the library Colonel? Why are you happy she's eighteen?"

The metal suit advanced on him, clearly threatening.

"Nothing! I didn't touch her. I just picked her up and brought her here. Everything is great. Your secret is safe with me." Mustang bolted from the room, nerves shot.

Alphonse went over to close the door after the retreating Colonel and shook his head, "He's gone now. Are you happy?"  
Ed started laughing hysterically. "That was hilarious! I mean, I know Maes said it would be funny, but that was the best!" She started wiping away the dark makeup from around her eyes.

Despite not breathing, the metal armor sighed, "Ed, what did you do to him?" He was starting to feel sorry for the Colonel.

"Nothing really… ok maybe I bit him. But I think Maes got some great photos in the courtyard on the way over."

-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-

This was fun. I think I'll see if i can get Maes into another story.


	10. Al's wedding

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. Seems like it'd be a lot of trouble. I'm just writing for fun, no money is being made.

This chapter is a General rating, except language.

 _italics are inside thoughts._

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

"No Ed. You can't quit the military."

"I'm quitting. No more. Al and I are done. We've finished what we needed to do and I'm leaving."

"Ed, you still have more time on your contract. Just under two years. Can't you just wait it out?"

"I don't care what I've signed. I don't care if you court martial me. I'm done working here."

Mustang sighed, "Again, Ed. I don't have control over this. You signed the contract." He rifled through his drawer a bit, "Here. I've brought a copy in today. You're welcome to go through it and find a loophole, many have tried, but if you look carefully on the last page you'll see you've signed it. Edward Elric. Right there." He pointed for emphasis.

The response from Ed wasn't what Mustang had expected. Ed started laughing. "You're right Mustang. That's a very good point." He laughed a bit more and Mustang frowned at him. There was definitely something he was missing. He grabbed the paper back and started scrutinizing the document.

"Well, guess I'll see you around then. I'm heading back to Resembool for a bit, then I might come back to visit. Thanks for everything you've done for me. I really do appreciate it."

Mustang was still frowning and quickly becoming more confused. _What the fuck was this kid talking about?_ Ed left the office, becoming more and more excited. He saluted the team on the way out, "l'm free!" he announced, then dashed out the door. Suddenly Mustang's team was in his office and surrounding him with a million questions, all of which essentially boiled down to "How did Ed get out of his contract?"

Mustang had no idea what to think and looked up to see Hawkeye watching him. "Sir, you can try to catch him at the station tomorrow or we can just wait and ask during Al and Winry's wedding next week. You should be able to misdirect the higher ups until then."

He thought about it and nodded. That was a good idea, he'd do that. They were all taking the next weekend off to head over to the small town anyway. Then he could catch Ed and make him point out the loophole. And, if he couldn't and was actually still locked in, then Mustang would drag him back with the rest of them. For now, he could give Fullmetal a few extra days off to help set up for the wedding anyway.

As it was, the brass didn't even ask for Fullmetal in the next week and mid Friday they all caught the train to the small town of Resembool.

When they arrived, Al was there to greet them and show them to the hotel they'd be staying at. It wasn't long before they reached the hotel lobby and Mustang couldn't hold it in anymore. He wanted to see Ed and ask about the contract. Al just laughed it off, "Oh, haha, yeah. Ed's helping Winry with some last minute set up. Anyway," he changed the subject, "We're having an outside dinner tonight for everyone. Come on up to the house as soon as you're ready and grab a drink. There's not a lot of people coming since Ed and I are a pretty small family. Winry's got a few relatives and work friends and then there's some people from town and a few you might know from our travels. There's some tables and chairs set up and we'll be cooking on a fire pit Ed put in for us a few days ago." Al's eyes were shining with excitement. "I hope to see you there."

The train ride hadn't been long, but it hadn't been fun and the whole crew was looking forward to some food and drinks. Al's party sounded excellent. "We'll be there Al. It shouldn't take us too long to get ready."

Al gave them directions to the house, there were also directions on the invites to the wedding itself, but Al was just too excited to pay attention. He waved good bye while they were still in the hotel lobby and took off.

Mustang's crew found their rooms easily enough and soon they were ready and gathered in the lobby to head to Al's new house.

Dinner was fantastic. There was a band and everyone was able to stand and dance or sit and talk. Tables were set up for sharing and there was plenty of finger food before the main course was even served. A couple hours after dinner Al and Winry stood up in front of the band. "Thank you everyone for travelling here. Unfortunately Al and I are here to shut everything down." Groans were heard from all over. "Now now, you can all go party in town but we have some final preparations to do before we kick things off tomorrow at 2. Then we can all party on the lawn until the sun rises if you want." There were cheers from the crowd. "Have a good night you guys! See you tomorrow!"

Mustang frowned as the party started to disperse. Ed had not come over to visit nor had he seen the boy the entire time. Hawkeye picked up on his irritation pretty quickly, "Oh relax, you'll see Ed tomorrow in the wedding party. Then you'll know what to look for at the reception."

That confused the General, "What do you mean, 'know what to look for' ?" But Hawkeye just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

Grumbling to himself Mustang followed her back to town.

The next morning Mustang woke up late. It shocked him because he hadn't been able to do that for years. Though, when he thought about it, they'd stayed up drinking at the hotel bar until 3 in the morning and the town was so quiet and peaceful that it wasn't really surprising that he let his guard down a bit. There had been a few people at the dinner that were staying at the hotel as well and they'd come and partied with them. Al had also been there as Winry had kicked him out of the house for the night. Again, Ed was missing and Al just ignored all Mustang's questions about him. He shook his head, Hawkeye was right, this was about Al's wedding, and he'd see Fullmetal today at the wedding.

As he rolled out of bed he saw a note under his door, looks like Hawkeye had gone up to the house this morning to help with Winry's dress and the men were to help Al with his suit.

When the team was ready Mustang learned that helping Al with his suit really just meant that they lazed about making jokes, drinking, and trying to calm Al down before the wedding. They had all thought Ed would have been there to help as he'd be the best man, so when Al turned to Mustang and asked if he'd be his best man instead it shocked them all into silence.

Al finally relented and gave a bit of an explanation. "Ok. I know you're all expecting Ed to be the best man, and we're not fighting, just that Ed already promised to do another job for this wedding."

Again though, Al avoided the silent question ' _Why'_ hanging in the air.. "Roy, I'm really sorry to spring this on you last minute. Would you mind? You only have to walk down the aisle with the Maid of Honour and stand around a bit. She'll tell you what to do and where to go. Then you two sign as witnesses on the marriage certificate and you're done."

Mustang took a moment to answer, he didn't want the younger Elric to think he was dismissing him. "Al, are you sure? I mean, I'm honoured. But I feel out of place taking this from your brother."

Al laughed a bit, "I assure you, my _brother_ is fine with it. In fact, it was Ed's idea. Now, can we get back to you guys calming me down instead of me calming you down?"

It was a clear misdirection but the team shook off their confusion and went with it. If that's what Al wanted on his wedding day, they'd do their best. Besides, there was still an hour left to go and there was still beer to drink.

Al and his entourage arrived at the house with fifteen minutes to spare. Al had to go to the altar and try not to panic as the time counted down. He left Mustang with a few last instructions. "Roy, the maid of honour will be here in a minute, she'll tell you what to do." he was repeating himself from earlier that morning without noticing. "I know you've been asking about her all weekend but try to save your questions until after the ceremony though. Please? They'll take too long to answer. Then you walk down the aisle and stand beside me at the end." Al pointed and walked away already distracted.

 _What the hell?_ Mustang had no idea what Alphonse was talking about. The boy was clearly not all there today.

Suddenly Ed's voice was behind him, "Hey hot-head. Sorry I couldn't come chat last night at dinner. I'm trying to keep Winry from an emotional overload. She's pretty excited."

Mustang spun around to give Ed a piece of his mind but ended up frozen in shock with his mouth hanging open.

Ed waited patiently, smiling. She was wearing a beautiful blue bridesmaid's dress. Her hair was set with flowers and slightly curled, it was styled and waved down her shoulders. She was holding her bouquet and watching him as he struggled to process who was before him.

Eventually the music started up and Ed looped her arm through Mustang's and he snapped out of it. They lead the way down the aisle, Mustang took his place beside Alphonse and looked out over the crowd. Hawkeye and his team were seated mid section on Al's side and she was smiling at him while the rest of the team gaped beside her. He was annoyed to realise that she'd known for a while. His eyes went back to Ed and found her looking at him, though now she seemed irritated. Why were her eyes flicking around? _Oh shit. The bride!_ Finally his military parade training kicked in and he was able to focus forward just as Winry came out of the house and down the porch stairs. Al sucked in a breath and Mustang remembered his job was to calm the groom. "She's beautiful Al, you're a lucky man." Al smiled brightly without taking his eyes off Winry. "Thank you."

The wedding was beautiful and went smoothly apart from a small hiccup. Al asked Mustang for the ring and there was a moment of confusion before the older man realised that Ed had slipped the ring into his jacket pocket on the way down the aisle. Alphonse heard his sister's snickering and just rolled his eyes.

As the ceremony ended and they headed toward the back lawn for the reception, Mustang found Ed on his arm once again.

"Good job flame brain, I wasn't sure you were going to make it there for a bit but you pulled through."

"Ed, I have so many questions for you I don't even know where to start."

She sighed, "I know. And to start, I'm sorry. You understand why though?"

He thought about it for a bit, "I do. It's a bit upsetting, but I understand. Any slip up and Al's body would have been forfeit. You would have been more of a target than you already were. It would have been harder to find research." Mustang knew the army was still a boys club. "Everything would have had more roadblocks." In fact, he doubted that Ed would have been let in at all. No matter what she could do with her alchemy.

Ed just nodded.

Mustang switched gears, "How did you get out of the contract though? The military wouldn't kick you out just because you were a woman."

She looked at him like he was stupid, "Idiot, what do you think my name actually is?" She rolled her eyes. "You actually gave me the answer when you pointed to my signature."

Mustang smacked himself. Fuck, he was oblivious. "What _is_ your name?"

She smiled at him, "It's Edaline."

That smile again, something switched in his brain. He'd already been protective and possessive when Ed was his prodigal subordinate, was it really that difficult to switch gears? He flashed through all the conversations he'd had with Ed over their years together and realised there were hints here and there to her true identity. As they watched the new bride and groom float across the floor he analysed all his interactions with her, each argument and challenge issued. Each insult and quietly supportive moment. It didn't take long, but it felt like almost a decade passed in a few moments. He realised he was in love with her.

It was the wedding party's turn to dance and he led Edaline onto the floor for a waltz. As they danced he realised that she'd changed. She was completely relaxed and more comfortable. She'd left his office a few days ago with a weight off her shoulders and it was clear the few days without the military had removed almost all the stress he was used to seeing in her. She could be who she wanted to be. The light in her eyes sparkled and the music was over too soon for Mustang.

Ed grinned at him, "I'm going to go grab Havoc, it looks like he's going to explode over there. You get Hawkeye, I think you'll probably have questions for her." Ed turned to go but Mustang hadn't let go. She looked up at him confused. Bending down he took her hand in his and kissed her palm. Ed blushed head to toe and Mustang leaned in again, "If he touches you anywhere but your waist I'm breaking his hand."

Her eyes went wide. "You sound like a psychopath! He's your friend!"

He shook his head, "Sorry. This time he's not getting the girl before me."

Not expecting or waiting for a response, Mustang led her over to Havoc before heading over to Hawkeye. Was it her imagination or did he just growl at Havoc? Judging by the way Havoc was acting like a terrified child she guessed Mustang was glaring at him even now.

"Jean!" That got his attention. "Ignore him. I'm stronger and faster than he is and if he does anything to you I'll kick his ass." She grinned at him until he relaxed and smiled back. "Good. I want to dance. I haven't had a chance to be a woman in a while."

"Well then my lady, let's dance." Havoc bowed low and off they went. She had to admit he was pretty strong. It took a fair amount of muscle to spin her around with her two automail limbs. And she didn't blame him for giving up after once dance, plus it looked like he still had some issues with the flame alchemist glaring from across the dance floor. Falman danced with her next, and then Fuery. Sort of, poor Fuery didn't last long. He wasn't the muscle on the team and her face lit up to see Havoc swing in again. It wasn't until her dance with Breda that she noticed that Mustang was only glaring when Havoc was dancing with her. Interesting, of his entire team, Havoc was the only one that threatened him. She filed that away, it was a problem for another day.

When the dance was over she led Jean over to Hawkeye and Mustang. They'd stopped dancing a few songs ago and were just talking. No doubt Riza was getting the third degree for not telling Roy that Fullmetal was a woman. Mustang took a step forward as if to intercept Ed and Ed dodged. Going into a full bow she looked at Hawkeye. "May I have this dance?" Riza laughed and agreed. Ed led her onto the floor, she needed just a few more minutes to process what she could see was happening.

"He's in love with you."

Ed's head snapped up to meet the older woman's eyes and Riza continued, "He figured it out about an hour ago. You could see it all the way across the floor."

"I'm sorry Riza."

"Don't be. We dated for a while but I couldn't shake the thoughts of the bad times we had to go through together. It seeped into all the good parts and turned them sour." she sighed, "Besides, I can see you feel the same way he does."

Ed didn't deny it. She'd spent too much time trying to deny it and now that her brother's life wasn't hanging in the balance she didn't care anymore. About a lot of things.

The music slowed and ended and she brought Riza over to rescue a stressed out Havoc. Mustang held out his hand to Ed, "Please dance with me?"

She couldn't say no and he whirled her onto the dance floor. His arm wrapping tighter around her waist as they went. His gaze focussed entirely on her. "Please come back to Central with us, with me." She looked into his eyes to see if he was being sincere. He was and she shared her plans.

"I already have my train ticket. I'm going to open up shop as a freelance alchemist repair tech."

Mustang relaxed at her answer. She needed to be with him and he sure as hell wasn't letting go.

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

D'awww.

What utter crap.

I wrote this a while ago. Made some corrections and repairs to it today but lost interest in actually reading it all the way through. It's still super out of character and i don't even think you have to actually sign your name to a contract as long as it's you doing the signing in person. But in this case, let's just pretend that it had to actually be Edaline's real name.

And also because she would have been under age when signing it then the obligation would fall on whomever backed her. What age is consent in the FMA world?

Ah well, even if we disagree with the signatures, she can probably get out by saying she falsified data and was therefore unfit for duty... Something something… look a squirrel!


	11. shopping

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

SUPER SHORT

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. General rating.

taking suggestions for new chapters.

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Shopping on one of the busier days of the week, on one of the busier streets in the city was not what Mustang had planned for the day, but it seemed to be what his lady friend wanted to do and he hadn't been fast enough to come up with an excuse to get out of it.

His boredom changed to mischievousness though, when he saw Fullmetal wandering the street alone. Today just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

Discretely navigating his date to each store to mirror his youngest subordinate's travel plans while remaining hidden just made it all the more fun. Ed had no idea. Though every once in a while the teen looked over his shoulder suspiciously, Mustang managed to remain hidden.

Mustang could understand Ed's nervousness, even if he was going to make fun of him later, the kid was going into every dress and lingerie store in sight. Winry must have a birthday coming up because Ed was clearly frazzled and he kept coming out empty handed.

The game was going to be over soon though, it'd been over two hours and they were almost at the end of the street. He managed to usher his date into the same store Ed had just disappeared into and once he followed her in he was confused to notice that Ed was nowhere in sight. His date wandered around and picked a few dresses to try on, then asked him to wait by the change rooms. He waved an acknowledgement and took a seat in the waiting area, distracted at losing his prey.

The disappointment didn't last long though, within the minute there he was. Or rather _she_ was. Dressed in a beautiful blue summer dress. He stared as Ed moved about, twirling in the mirror. It took a moment for Ed to catch sight of him in the mirror's reflection. She froze. He continued to stare. He could see her anger bubbling quickly toward the surface and he still couldn't take his eyes off her.

Suddenly his date exited her change room, demanding Mustang's attention. Ed's anger evolved into ideas of sabotage and she took full advantage of the situation. This should keep him out of her hair and get him into trouble in one go.

She made sure to put on her most offended expression and waved her hands about in alarm as she howled at the girl, "Your date just tried to proposition me!"

The scene certainly agreed with that statement. Mustang was gobsmacked trying to come up with an excuse and Ed was clearly upset with him.

His date went straight to full blown domestic abuse and Ed started handing her long and heavy objects to hit him with. Mustang wasn't very good at defending himself, and he _could not_ figure out where these blunt items were coming from.

Ed escaped in the scuffle having supplied (re: transmuted) enough weaponry to last about a half hour. She'd decided to wear the dress and shoes out of the shop and left her money on the counter. After all, the shopkeep had been concerned with some tricky customers and she hadn't wanted to disturb him.

Having bagged her regular clothes, she took off down the street. Hawkeye was going to kick her ass if she was late to the show again.

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

If anyone's got any ideas for improvement, i'd actually like to hear them. Or even some ideas for more stories. I'll see what i can come up with, but I think there's only a few more in the folder that need to be fixed up a bit. Then i'll probably be done with this.


	12. babysitting

-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. Seems like it'd be a lot of trouble. I'm just writing for fun, no money is being made.

Rating: General w/ language.

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hughes and Gracia had been invited to an 'adults only' wedding for a family member on Gracia's side, so obviously Elisia couldn't come with. Ed had been coerced into babysitting. Though really, he liked watching Elisha and an afternoon and evening with the kid always made him feel warm inside. He suspected Hughes knew that and that was why he insisted Ed watch her.

He arrived on time and Elisia was glad to see him. Though by accident or design, Ed thought the later, Mustang thought the former; Hughes had _forgotten_ that he'd asked Mustang to watch Elisia as well several months earlier.

Their initial confrontation had been quite epic, Ed claiming Elisia didn't need a pervert around, Mustang claiming that neither Elisia nor Ed would be able to reach the stove to cook dinner. Only when Elisia, misreading the conversation, volunteered to watch herself because she was a very big girl and knew how to work the phone, did they decided to call a draw.

So here they were, two hours into the afternoon and finally relaxed in their roles as babysitters. Mustang was taking a break on the couch as Ed continued to play Elisia's toy train game. When Elisia went to run her train under the chair, Ed sat back smiling calmly then sadly and subconsciously put a hand on his abdomen. Elisia came back around the corner and they went back to playing.

It had been a discrete motion but the General had noticed. He noticed lots of things; and now he was confused. And since he didn't like being confused he decided to avoid confrontation by continuing to watch Ed, albeit a hell of a lot closer.

Three hours later it was time for dinner. Mustang had only ascertained more intel on what he already knew. Ed was thin, lithe, and agile. He was also very delicate with Elisia. Not that anyone wouldn't be, but just something about it…

"Mustang!"

He snapped out of it.

"You're in charge of making dinner since you think i can't reach the stove. Insult backfired- !" Ed bit his tongue to avoid swearing in front of their charge, and Mustang had been too lost in thought to figure out a ploy to get out of cooking.

He headed to the kitchen to start dinner and Elisia helped while Ed sat back and put his feet up in triumph. Though Mustang knew it wouldn't be long until Ed felt guilty and joined them. Four minutes exactly as it turned out. Ed didn't say anything and accompanied them in their quest for pots and pans.

Roy had a plan. He asked Ed to reach the tall things knowing that Ed was sensitive to height, knowing that he'd end up getting angry instead of paying attention to how exposed his stomach was while he was reaching. Mustang was calculating.

On the third tall item, Ed finally realised something was up and caught Mustang looking. Immediately realising the dangerousness of the situation he moved to the side to hide the cloth wrap under his shirt and refused to grab any more high items.

It was suspicious, if there was nothing wrong, why was he hiding. More suspicious than that was the nervousness Ed showed now that he knew Mustang had been watching.

The General was quiet all through dinner and Ed only got jumpier and jumpier.

Mustang tried to think of alternatives. Ed could have been rubbing his stomach and thinking about a disappointing lunch he just had. He could just be super careful with children. He could have cut himself on a mission and just never told his superior about it and wrapped it himself. He could be short because he was the runt of the family. He could just hate hospitals because everyone hates hospitals. These were all good explanations, even if they didn't cover why Ed's waist was just that little bit curvier, and why he was currently a ball of nerves and wouldn't meet Mustang's eyes. But no matter which way you flipped it, when you put all these thoughts together, it was an interesting amount of evidence.

After dinner Ed took Elisia to the living room and found a programme on the radio to listen to before bed. Mustang was left with the dishes.

The radio was a good move, no talking, no moving. Ed wouldn't reveal any more cards easily. Mustang joined in afterward and Ed realised that Mustang didn't care what they were listening to; choosing instead to barrel ahead with conversation.

"So Ed, after all this babysitting, you ever going to have kids?"

Ed narrowed his eyes. "I don't think so."

Mustang was a bit surprised, "You mean you wouldn't want your own darling Elisia?"

Hearing her name the girl chimed in, possibly even thinking she was defending Ed. "Daddy said Ed can't have children." Ed's face filled with terror but he wasn't fast enough to stop the girl. "His ut-er-us was broken when he got his arm back." She turned to Ed, "It's ok Ed. You can play with me anytime!"

Mustang's triumph at figuring out the secret lasted only a millisecond before he was horrified by the reality of the situation.

Time stopped. Elisia, correctly assuming that adults were weird, went back to listening to her show. Uninterested in the events unfolding behind her.

Ed sat frozen. She'd locked her face into an indifferent frown. She refused to look at him. She didn't want his sympathy, she didn't want his pity, and she most definitely was not going to run away.

Mustang was gaping at her. No words coming to him. He had absolutely no idea how to handle this situation. Normally you could give hugs and condolences, but this was Ed and only an hour ago he'd been sure she was a boy.

The silence ticked by and though Mustang had recovered enough to stop staring at Ed and closed his mouth, he still had no idea what to say.

The Hughes' arrived home and Ed turned into smiles and stories of the day's adventures. Maes and Gracia were engulfed in Ed and Elisia's boisterousness and didn't notice Mustang until after Ed had said her goodbyes and left. They could immediately tell something was wrong.

Elisia picked up on the situation and again decided to help the only way children know how to help; abruptly.

"Uncle Roy is sad for Ed because he found out Ed can't have children."

Maes realised his daughter had spilled the beans and ushered Roy outside to talk.

Roy followed.

"I'm sorry you found out like this. Ed was supposed to tell you herself."

Roy looked at him, "How long have you known?"

Hughes sighed, "Gracia was visiting a friend in the hospital when Ed was brought in after her arm was returned. Ed asked her to stay when the doctor brought the news."

It made sense, if you had even an idea that that news was coming, you'd want a friend. "What should I do?"

"Well, you look pretty guilty. So maybe try apologising."

Roy stood up to leave, he _had_ been provoking her.

"Thanks Maes. Please say goodnight to Elisia for me. I'll come by next weekend to visit her again."

Roy left the house deep in thought and it took about three blocks before he realised he had a shadow. He spun, ready to defend himself.

There was Ed. Waiting. Watching.

He dropped his guard. "Ed. I'm so sorry."

She slugged him, left handed, directly in the side of the head. Her strongest arm since her right was returned and he dropped like a stone. She put her boot on his throat and leaned in, "I don't want your pity, so stay the _fuck_ out of my personal life." She stepped back and glared as he rolled to a sitting position and tried to settle his rattled brain and regain his breath. He still had no desire to fight.

"I'm sorry you don't trust me enough to tell me the things you should be able to tell your superior officer."

She snorted at him. "Superior my ass. Useless wet match." She seemed less mad at least. Though that didn't stop her from clapping and turning the earth around him into prison bars. "Eat shit jackass." He watched her walk away, leaving him trapped. Maybe Hughes would come out to check up on him and he wouldn't have to spend the _whole_ night stuck here.


	13. diplomatic rescue

blah blah, no updates recently. sorry not sorry. pokemon-go is a time-vampire.

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

They'd returned from a joint mission. Exhausted and bruised but otherwise no worse for wear. Ed and Mustang shared an almost empty train car, sitting opposite each other and staring off into space, reliving the events that had brought them to the far east. Ed was leaving the military, this was their last mission together and now that it was over it was the only thing on the General's mind.

A stealth mission, Mustang had huffed in amusement that anyone would want to put Fullmetal on a _stealth_ mission. Though he couldn't think of any other alchemist he'd be able to work with. The mission: get in, free their diplomat and her family from the group that held them hostage, get out. Easy enough actually, Ed wasn't even sure why Mustang had needed to come with him. He could have done it all by himself. They'd found out that the family was being held in the basement and Ed just made a tunnel and walked right in.

It didn't take long before they'd gathered everything they needed then sealed the exit back up on the way out. Mustang had been pretty mad when Ed pointed out his only job was to provide the torch. Ed was just taunting him, without Mustang he wouldn't have known where the family was in the house and probably gone in without a plan putting everyone in danger and starting a full scale war, but he wasn't going to share that.

They reached an amicable peace on the way to the train station with the hidden family. Ed had made a tunnel and filled it behind them almost all the way there, stopping for air holes when Mustang's map had shown safe sections to poke their heads up. Mustang had been quite impressed with how much alchemy his subordinate was able to do but even at the end Ed had started to stagger in exhaustion.

The Flame Alchemist couldn't in good conscious tell Fullmetal to keep going and they were far enough away to come up out of the ground and find disguises to get back on the train home. As soon as Ed opened a hole with stairs up Mustang knew he'd hit his limit; two very obvious signs. 1. Ed had collapsed. 2. The stairs didn't have gargoyles on them.

He'd lifted Fullmetal onto his back and carried him to the train station, they were already in civilian clothes so only the diplomat and her family needed to disguise themselves. Acting as one large happy family helped find what they needed, sleeping Ed fit the part perfectly. Something bothered Mustang about Ed's body on his back but he wasn't able to pinpoint it.

He let Ed sleep for the first few hours of the trip then woke him to get some paperwork done before Ed left the military for good. When they were done they fell into a comfortable silence, staring at nothing. Not sure what to say to each other; their last day together.

The family at the other end of the train car seemed to be sleeping happily together. Mustang caught Ed watching them, a small smile on his face.

"When are you and Winry tying the knot?"  
Mustang had expected a blush and a glare and the usual denial. Nope.

"We're not dating Mustang."  
"Oh come on, she's always after you."  
Ed sighed and turned to look him directly in the eyes. "I'm not a guy Roy. I'm a woman. Edaline. 23 years old. Military contract completed tomorrow. Winry is in love with Al and I prefer men."

She turned and watched the happy family again, listening as Mustang sputtered and choked on the seat across from her.

It was mean. She knew there were a hundred better ways to break the news to him, but this was the end. She'd be free of her contract and all obligations hereafter. The timing was right even if the delivery was way off.

Mustang found his voice and hissed at her, "You're what?!"

She calmly turned back around and took her cape off. Then removed her tunic. Her chest was wrapped sufficiently underneath, but now that there wasn't a shirt covering them her curves were plainly visible.

She watched his reactions. Denial, anger, resignation. When he finally met her eyes again she saw him try and hide the sadness.

Sad because she wouldn't tell him? Or because he didn't know her well enough after years of being her superior officer, "You weren't supposed to notice. You specifically. I think your ignorance kept me safer than anything else."

"I wouldn't have-"

"Pride was made of shadows. I bet my life he watched you sleep." She let him think about that, "What do you scream about in your nightmares? The horrors you've seen? The people you know being injured?"

He looked pained but she just smiled at him. "Exactly. It also kept _you_ safer. They would have tortured you to find out more about me."

She watched as he conceded, putting her tunic and cape back into place. Time for a small distraction. "Thanks for carrying me here."

He thought a moment and the lightbulb flicked on. "I _knew it!_ I knew there was something wrong with the way you felt on my back!"

"Wrong?!"

Mustang continued, unaware of his choice of words. "Yes! It didn't feel right."

"I feel wrong?!"

He hadn't noticed she'd stood up, he was excited about maybe having almost figured out her secret before she'd had to tell him. "Hah! I knew you felt smaller than I was expe-"

She punched him. Her anger not sated even by the sight of his unconscious form on the train's bench; she left the car. They were in home territory now and their charges didn't need a guard in place. Plus, Mustang had signed the release papers.

Climbing to the roof of the car she let the cool wind calm her down. She quickly scribbled out a letter for Riza about her new accommodations and her ideas for work in the city; Resembool was too small for her now. Then as a final jab she used wax charcoal crayon to write to Mustang. "Thanks for being the torch. Not as useless as usual." She made a slide from the roof as the train slowed down in station, she'd see the rest of the team later anyway.

Riza met them at the station. The diplomat pointed to the other end of the car when she asked about Mustang. She found him unconscious with telltale bruise growing on his jaw. There were two letters on the table and Ed was nowhere to be found. She sighed and pocketed the letters. Havoc and Breda were outside, they could deal with their idiot supervisor. She had to go find someone to take the slide off the side of the train.


	14. ambushed

55 individual followers and 8 individual reviewers. i feel so motivated.

Heads up everyone, this isn't an Ed/Mustang combo. also, it's from my stash of not-so-good backup stories and i've only got a few more left in that pile so it's only going to get worse.

!-!-!-!

A beautiful day. The sun shining, a cool breeze rustling in over the windowsill. Perfect.

Inside the office was a completely different situation. A darker situation.

Rebels, in a very coordinated play, had disguised themselves as office workers and snuck inside Headquarters. Knowing Mustang had a dangerous genius child prodigy, they had taken that office first and then the rest would work their way to King Bradley from there. They'd found Ed, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Feury just outside the cafeteria. Going for the child first they knocked him unconscious before he even had a chance to realise the danger. The other four put up a good fight but were outnumbered, unarmed, and distracted by Ed's unconscious state. The rebels easily incapacitated them before shoving them into a supply closet, blindfolded and muffled.

Kicking in the door and quickly dragging the boy into Roy's office they were met with an unprepared Hawkeye arguing with her ignorant superior. Hawkeye had been fast, but not fast enough. She'd only managed to get two shots off before Ed's body was held up as a shield. Roy was right behind her, gloves on, spark set but killed the flames as soon as he took in the scene; Hawkeye stopped moving. All the rebels' guns were pointed at Ed. The two waited, not about to lower their weapons until they had to. At least one rebel was injured, she'd got his shoulder and he'd had to drop his gun.

There were five men visible and each had their weapon aimed from different angles pointed at Ed, probably a sixth they couldn't see at Ed's back. Between her and Roy, there weren't enough people to disarm all of them at once _and_ ensure the boy's life. Though judging by the set of his jaw, she was sure Roy's definition of 'disarmed' wasn't the same as hers.

They placed Ed in a chair and tied his hands to the arms of it.

"Make a move and we'll blow his head off."

Mustang backed off and lowered his hands, seemingly at ease. The rebels were educated though, "Take them off. You don't need your hands up to make a spark. Leave them on the table." Mustang grunted, irritated. There was another set of gloves still in his pocket, but it would take time to put them on.

They looked at Riza, "Gun down. On the floor if you would." She lowered her weapon, leaving it on the ground beside her.

"Ok, doesn't matter where you leave it." He motioned for them to move. "Backs against the wall over there."

They complied and Ed's chair was dragged closer to them for better viewing but still just out of reach. The guns stayed trained on the blond boy to help Riza and Roy focus. The lead rebel tied their hands behind their backs with leather straps and pushed them to their knees.

"Ok, so I have a few questions about your King."

Mustang rolled his eyes. "Do you really think you're going to get anything out of us? That kid signed up for the army like everyone else. He knew the dangers from the start."

The rebel frowned. "Hmm. My intel said you had a soft spot for this one." He leaned back and punched the unconscious boy several times in the head. The sound was sickening.

Mustang remained stone faced.

"Still no?" but this time he didn't even give Mustang time to answer. He threw the chair on it's side and kicked Ed in the ribs several times. Mustang's face was losing colour but otherwise kept up his air of indifference.

"If you beat him to death, then you lose your bargaining chip."

"Maybe, but i have a closet of others I found with this one that I could beat up as well."

Mustang felt Riza go still beside him, she must have thought the team would be able to come to the rescue, though he'd figured that these assholes wouldn't have got Ed unless the rest of his team were down.

The guy kicked Ed a few more times for good measure then went to straighten the chair. Pausing when he noticed extra cloth around Ed's chest as he lifted Fullmetal up,

"What's this? Is the child already injured? Maybe you do really hate the kid."

The rebel pulled on the wrapping that was showing under Ed's shirt. Mustang was confused, as far as he knew, Ed was healthy and fit for duty. He hadn't even sent him out on mission in over a week.

Hawkeye's reaction was different. She couldn't hold back her whispered, "No!" and when they turned to her she jumped up and slammed into the rebel nearest Ed. A small altercation, she couldn't do much while her hands were still tied and she was shot through the leg for her trouble. Mustang stayed very still, furious; if there was any sign of a spark and they'd all go up in flames. One of the rebels turned their weapon toward Hawkeye's face, "behave yourself!" The leader picked her up he threw her against the wall beside Mustang again.

"Well that was uncalled for," he turned back toward Ed, "What's so interesting about these wraps?" He pulled a knife out and sliced the front of Ed's shirt open.

"This is quite the injury… Or is it? There's no blood here. Even after all that abuse." The knife was working its way through the wrapping. "Oh my. Roy!" he moved away so Mustang could see, "You didn't tell anyone your Fullmetal Alchemist was a GIRL!"

Mustang was stunned and the rebels saw it, "You didn't _know!_ That's hilarious!" he leaned closer to Mustang, "I have someone who might enjoy this new development. How about we wake this little girl up and see what she thinks. Maybe she'll like it." He directed the next command to one of his lackeys, "Go get Lain." The man took off.

"Now, how to wake her up." he paused for dramatic effect, making sure to meet Roy's eyes as he said the next part. "I know. I hear automail removal is pretty painful. Let's do that."

Ed screamed, coming awake as her arm was taken off. Then again when her leg was also removed. Each scream ending in a fit of coughs, some of which included blood after having been kicked in the gut so many times. Then 'Lain' arrived, Mustang almost gagged at how excited the man looked. The new rebel grabbed Ed's only arm and dragged her and the chair into Mustang's inner office.

A chance was a chance and Hawkeye took it. There were no longer guns on Ed and she slipped Mustang's glove out of his pocket and onto her hand. Mustang had felt her hands beside him and was ready. She snapped and the room erupted in fire.

The rebels burned. Charred to unrecognisable lumps in seconds. Lain ran out of the office to see what was happening and was instantly caught in the flames.

He was not burned as quickly. Hawkeye was sure she'd hear those screams in her nightmares for weeks to come.

They were able to free themselves from the leather straps with some work and while Mustang put the flames out, Riza limped over to the office to check on Ed.

She was relieved to see no further damage, though without a shirt the bruises were visible and coming in fast. Ed was unconscious again, likely a good thing. The less she remembered, the better.

She removed her coat and covered the girl before anyone could come in. She wasn't sure what was taking Mustang so long until she heard voices in the doorway. Then she learned why no one had come to see about the gunshots and screaming.

There were rebels for each office in the building. Mustang's team had been deigned more dangerous and had been attacked first so that no one got warnings or help.

She could hear Mustang's fingers snap and the roar of flames as he made his way out the doors and down the hall. She was glad she didn't have to watch the consequences of his rage, and it sounded like the other deadly alchemists had joined him in a search and destroy mission.

Eventually Havoc and the team were with her, Breda was the only one with both working arms and he brought Ed's heavy automail limbs over. It would be better to put them on while she was still unconscious and fortunately, she did not wake up during the installation. They still had to get her to a hospital though; hopefully there weren't many internal injuries.

Mustang appeared at the door, the least injured of all of them. He scooped his youngest subordinate up and walked out while Havoc and Breda helped Hawkeye from the building. Falman and Fuery followed behind.

There were very few rebels left alive. No one asked what would happen after Bradley got to them.

!-!-!-!

Mustang had done his job, having helped clear the building of rebels all the way to Bradley's office, he was able to get leave for his team to visit the hospital instead of waiting for the military's general medic unit. He found them all in his office and focused on his youngest charge. She needed help, quickly.

They took two cars, his and Breda's. The team dividing itself up for the trip. Not a single doctor questioned him when he walked in the front doors of the hospital, they just took Ed from him and let him follow.

The exam room was stark white compared to the blood and ash left in his office, and seeing Ed's black and purple bruises against the white cloth somehow made everything worse. At least he knew why Ed hated hospitals. He sat off to the side and waited for the report. Hovering only made the staff nervous.

It took some time but eventually they had Ed wrapped up. The report included the status of her broken ribs and what to watch for in case there was any severe internal bleeding, the hits to her head didn't seem to have left much damage, and for the most part though it looked like she was going to recover.

The team's reports came in right after, Hawkeye's leg would take several weeks and she'd need crutches, there was also a few dislocated shoulders, a broken arm and a broken leg among the rest of the crew. They got off fairly lightly considering what the rebels had been planning to do to Ed, what he would have had to listen to.

Hawkeye came in and saw his expression, she started to explain but he stopped her, "It's fine. I'm irritated _she_ didn't tell me. But it's my fault i didn't notice." They sat together waiting for Ed to wake up. The rest of the team received leave to head home.

Eventually Ed regained consciousness. Painfully. They fed her more drugs and once they kicked in she tried to leave, only noticing at the last minute that she was missing her chest wrap and that Mustang was sitting next to her bed with Hawkeye, they did not look impressed at her escape attempt.

The glare she got was enough to motivate her back into bed, especially now that she was feeling so exposed. "What happened?"

Mustang was still glaring, so it was Hawkeye that spoke up, the look on her face also conveying that her secret was up, "You were ambushed with the team. It's been sorted out."

"Why does my automail hurt?"  
Hawkeye hesitated, if she didn't remember, she didn't want to bring the memory back, unfortunately lying wasn't in her skill set. "It was removed and replaced. Would you like me to call Winry?"  
Ed winced, "No. it's ok." She looked around, "What happened to your leg?"

"Ambushed."

Ed narrowed her eyes. There was something missing but Hawkeye wasn't forthcoming. Then she sighed, she'd figure it out later. Right now more sleep was in order.

She lay back down again, her ribs were starting to hurt through the drugs and when she moved her leg something felt off. Looking down under the sheet her stomach fell through the floor. She turned back to Hawkeye, trying to contain her fear.

Her voice cracked, "Why is there a hand shaped bruise on my thigh?" Normally she wouldn't have asked about mysterious bruises, pretending she knew and sorting it out later, but for someone to have been that close to her without her knowing… what were these two hiding?

Hawkeye had looked away but Mustang answered, anger evident in his eyes, "He's dead."

That didn't help. Well, it did, but didn't tell her what had happened. She needed to see the rest of herself to know more. She started to get off the bed and managed to slide half way off before Mustang caught her, silently he helped her to the small washroom and waited outside while she checked her body.

Aside from massive bruising on her stomach and ribs, the only mark was the handprint that had scared her initially.

She stumbled out of the bathroom and the Flame Alchemist caught her for the return trip. Careful of her ribs.

"When?"

"When my contract expired."

And that was all. She wasn't going to explain why she hid her identity. Why she hadn't told him. She was still Ed.

"I could have-"

"No! Don't finish that sentence. Do you treat Hawkeye differently?"

He stayed silent.

Ed sighed, "Take her home Roy. She's in love with you and injured. She wants to be treated differently."

Mustang wasn't sure how to respond to that and so didn't say anything as he helped Ed climb back into bed. She passed out shortly afterward.

When she woke up again a few hours later Breda was there instead.

"He take her home?"  
Breda smiled.

She carefully rolled back over to get more sleep, "Finally."


	15. Windows - part 2 Monday's Mission

plot holes all over this one. good luck people. i'm running out of ideas for this.

so here we go, by request-sort of, Something About Windows Part 2. Completely different title.

-.-.-.-.-.- story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Mustang arrived at work Monday morning exhausted and cranky, Edaline had been in his head all weekend. And not just images of her in the shower, conversations they'd fought over, missions he'd sent her on, any interactions they'd ever had. He looked miserable and his team immediately noticed... before quickly pretending not to have noticed. Judging by their reactions he'd need to pull himself together before Edaline came in for her mission because she wasn't going to let him off easy when she figured out he'd spent the weekend thinking about her naked. He stole Havoc's coffee on the way into his office, he'd need all the help he could get.

It wasn't long before the door to the outer office was kicked open and Fullmetal barged in, Al in tow. He heard the usual greetings for the rest of the team and he had mere seconds to compose himself before his own office door was kicked in and he was greeted with a scowling Elric and a curious Elric.

"What shitty mission do you have for me today _General_ _Pervert_?" She had thrown herself into an opposing chair and watched him with a critical eye. Al calmly took the other chair available and sat down to watch, Mustang wasn't sure if the younger Elric was hiding a smirk behind his quiet smile. Was he missing something?

He looked at Ed for a few moments without answering until she fidgeted. Was he actually making the FullMetal Alchemist nervous?

"Ed, I have a few questions."

"No."

Mustang sputtered, "What do you mean 'no' ?"

"No. I'm not answering questions. We wouldn't be in this situation if you weren't a peeping tom. Give me my mission and we'll go."

Mustang had to approach this carefully or they'd reach a stalemate. She could call him a pervert but couldn't give an exact reason without having to explain herself to anyone in earshot. He wouldn't be able to get information from her without blackmailing her and he really didn't want to do that.

So, time to reverse tactics, if direct questions weren't going to work he'd have to try something else. He let his face fall just slightly, the exhaustion from the weekend slipping into view for just the right amount of time.

"You didn't trust me enough to tell me?" It was partially a question but partially an accusation and her face twisted into annoyance.

"You're not a very good actor Mustang. You can't guilt me into this when you won't even tell me anything about your own history. You just assumed you knew me because you came by my house when I was young."

Shit, she definitely had points on that one. Apparently Ed had been paying attention to how much he valued information. Still, he wasn't comfortable handing out his own personal stories yet. His face recomposed itself into lockdown and she huffed. "You must be tired if I can read you that easily. You don't get anything from me until you share your own. Give me the mission Mustang and we'll go. You can try again when we get back."

Looking at his desk she saw a file with her name on it, "Nevermind." and hauled herself out of the chair to stand and grab the paper, as she leaned over his hand snapped out and locked onto her wrist. Fuck, how the hell could she forget that he was a conniving bastard. Al laughed at her and she growled at him, of course he saw this coming. The paper was obviously a trap. She glared at the General, he'd even managed to snag her left wrist leaving her with only her newly returned right arm for attack, which was much weaker.

"Let. Me. Go."

"No."

He was already cranky, but now anger was starting to show itself. He narrowed his eyes at her and even from across the desk he was able to lift her off her feet with one arm bringing her to his eye level, "You belong to me Ed. You're my subordinate until your contract is up." She threw a punch with her weak right arm but he swatted it away with his free hand. "You _will_ tell me what I want to know."

Al was wide eyed as his sister still chose to fight back.

"I'm not telling you shit jackass."

"You will. I didn't get here by being a pushover." He dropped her suddenly and her legs failed to keep her upright as she fell on her ass.

"Fuck you!" She pushed herself to her feet and was able to grab the paper from his desk. "Al, we're out of here."

It was clear Alphonse had not been expecting this turn of events and he nervously looked back over his shoulder at the angry General as he started to follow his sister through the door. He hesitated, seeing Ed was already at the other end of the main office he spoke quietly, "You wouldn't tell us anything, she's protecting herself."

Mustang didn't respond and Al hurried from the room after his sister.

He scowled at himself. It was true of course, how was Ed supposed to trust him with her secrets if he didn't share his secrets with her? On the other hand, the secrets he kept didn't endanger anyone's life, Ed's secret could lead to him putting her at unnecessary risk. He slammed his fist onto the desk, _dammit Ed, why are you so stubborn_? His eyes fell on Ed's mission paper, she was supposed to go help build some new train lines in Liore. Who better for transmuting tracks than Fullmetal? He thought about the request for a moment before he realised that something was wrong. _Why was this still on his desk_? Panic started to rise in his throat and he frantically searched for the _other_ mission he'd been reading. The one he was going to go on himself. The one that he wasn't going to subject his team to.

It wasn't there.

Ed looked over the paper, they were already on the train heading out of town. A cursory glance while packing and changing into discrete clothing had told her that she'd needed to head west, the sooner the better. Now that she had time to read the whole thing and was noticeably less irritated at the General she took the time to get the details.

It made her sick. Usually Mustang didn't send her on these types of missions.

The military was after a man that posed as a day care instructor to lure children to abandoned buildings before murdering and dismembering them... not in that order.

The police would arrive to find body parts strung up as mobiles from the ceiling. Ed felt she was going to vomit.

"What's the mission brother?"

Al had returned from the dining car with some food and was setting it out before them as he waited for the specifics. She couldn't answer, not yet. She should have left Al at home.

He finished putting the plates and drinks out and finally noticed her pale colour and haunted expression. "What? What is it?" He looked at the mission paper and went to grab it, she quickly snatched it away from him and destroyed it. The contents had been burned into her memory anyway, there was no need for her little brother to see it.

"Kidnapping."

He sent his sister an annoyed look, obviously there was more to it than that, "I'll find out when we get there anyway, you could have just told me."

Shaking her head she fixed him with a stare. "You're not coming."  
"Ed, I'm already on the train."  
"You're getting off at the next stop and you're going back."

"I'm not leaving you to handle a mission on your own that you are so scared of you can't tell me about it."

Ed stopped arguing, but only because the next stop was another half hour away and she'd rather not spend that time bickering. She'd get her brother off the train and continue on, and even if he caught the next one it was still a day later so hopefully she'd have the entire thing settled by then. One day timeline. She could do it.

It hadn't been that hard to get him off the train, she stole his ticket stub when he wasn't looking then with a little help from her pocket watch, reported him to the conductor. She knew she wouldn't win in a fight against him and nothing she had to say would convince him to leave her side. So she'd advised the station officials to hold him on the platform until long after the train pulled away. She saw the angry betrayal in his eyes but smiled back and promised to return soon.

!-!-!-!

Al caught the next train as expected. He'd even slept at the station to make sure he didn't miss it. He'd been mad at first but with the time he had to think about it he realised that even though they'd both seen Truth, she was still scared for him and was just trying to protect him. Now though, he needed to get to where she was going to protect _her_ from anything bad that would happen. There were a few issues, he'd known the final destination of their tickets when they got them, but wasn't sure if that was just a transfer point or if it was the location of their suspect. He'd have to ask around once he got there and that would waste time.

!-!-!-!

Mustang had sent Havoc after Ed to stop them from getting on the train but Havoc had missed them at the station, forcing the General to catch the next train a day later. He was low on sleep and high on stress. Maybe he could get there before she found any leads. Maybe she'd be lazy and he'd find she hadn't even started. His gaze travelled to the window and his stomach dropped to the floor as Alphonse got on the train at the next stop. _Or maybe she'd send away her only backup and go into this situation completely alone._ Mustang couldn't stop himself from a small panic attack. He shouldn't have left the paper on his desk! He should have locked it up. _His fault his fault his fault_ , the mantra repeated in his head until Alphonse called his name and shook his shoulder. The look on the boy's face told him that it wasn't the first time he'd been called.

"General? Are you ok?"

"Alphonse, where is Ed?" He hoped with everything he had that she'd been on the platform with Al and he just hadn't seen her.

"She went ahead."

Mustang faltered and then composed himself. He didn't want the younger Elric to worry so he fought down the returning panic. Besides, neither of them could do anything about it until they got there anyway.

"I'm sorry Al, this was my mission. She grabbed it by accident."

"What does she have to do?"

He hesitated, "We're catching a kidnapper. He's pretty gruesome. Yesterday morning before you both arrived in my office I received more intelligence on the case. I'm not going to tell you specifics."

Alphonse waited for more but the General was done talking. He didn't want specifics though, he just wanted to help his sister.

"Will Ed be ok?"

Mustang wouldn't meet his eyes and clearly avoided the question, "There's no information in the report on what the man looks like so she'll have to spend some time looking around. I'll be there soon."

" _We'll_ be there soon."

"Alphonse!" Mustang rounded on him, "The _only_ reason you're allowed to stay on this train is because you're going to keep her away from this mission when we find her. Neither of you are going into combat."

Al backed down but Mustang noticed the boy didn't give any form of agreement.

!-!-!-!

Ed's train arrived early in the morning and she set to work immediately. She'd go to the most popular day care and ask about new competition, if there wasn't any they knew about, she'd get a list of registered day cares from the town hall and cross reference that with what she could find at schools. If there were any discrepancies then she'd start there. She'd thought about going to the town hall first but gossip moved faster than fact in small towns and she had a feeling she'd have better luck doing it backward.

She arrived at a small school-like building after a bit of wandering and some directions from locals, there was a playground to the side of it and adults off to the side keeping an eye on the children and chatting. As she got closer she was able to tune into the conversation.

"Billy and Suzie were pulled out of here yesterday, Amy says she's found a place that's half price."

"Half price! You can't even afford food with that!"

"I wonder what the teachers are being paid."

"I don't think there are teachers, just the one owner."

"Amy said she was lucky to have heard of the place, she got the last two spots."

"Good for her I guess, she needs the savings since Andy lost his job."

"I hope at those prices that the kids are ok though."

"Excuse me." Ed popped her head into the conversation, "Do you know where this new day care is?"

A few of the teachers jumped and one was startled into blurting out an answer. "Edge of town, near the old Smith place."

"Could you be a little more specific? I'm new to the area."

"Kid, who are you? Why are you asking?"

Irritated at being called a kid even if she _was_ dressed like a sixteen year old boy, Ed pulled out the pocket watch to surprise everyone. She still managed to keep a polite smile in place while asking, "Could you tell me where the old Smith place is?"

They were all stunned and she was able to get an answer from the same person that blurted before. Thanking them she ran off. That had been incredibly easy, this guy must have had to ask around town for clients and "edge of town" was a huge red flag. You don't put day-cares on the edge of town, they go in populated residential areas. The police should already be on to this guy with that amount of obviousness. She headed off to the town hall for maps and survey information, she needed to know the layout if she was going to make a plan.

Two hours and lunch later she had all the information she needed. She sent word to the local police station for backup before heading out, no reason to be stupid about this, she knew nothing about how many children were in trouble or what this man was capable of.

It only took her about a half hour to walk from the town hall to the specific edge of town she was looking for and the closer she got the more unease she felt. Still, she snuck around the perimeter and transmuted a trench around the building at a fair enough distance to not be seen and deep enough no one could crawl out. This way the only escape was through the front, and as planned, through her. Double checking her handiwork she finally surveyed the front door, it didn't look rigged but that didn't mean it was a good idea to go through it. She had a brief moment where she considered waiting for backup before implementing the plan, but as she crept near the door she could hear crying. Now she was torn, she couldn't just barge in and expect everything to be ok. Not this far away from military help, and there were child hostages! She definitely couldn't wait around listening to children crying.

Idea! Hiding behind a small bush she threw a rock through the front window. This way she'd get to take a look at her suspect and he'd be away from the children momentarily. Perfect!

Even better than she'd hoped, as soon as the rock went through the window an old man ran out of the house and onto the front lawn cursing and yelling about hooligans. She clapped and hit the ground and the old man was buried to his knees in his front yard. Perfect.

She came out from behind her cover and the man started shouting at her.

"What the hell are you doing to me kid? I come out to check on a broken window and you attack me? I got my kid in there screaming and you're out here throwing rocks!"

She hesitated and looked him over, "I'm here to arrest you for murder."

"MURDER?! I ain't ever murdered anyone! I live here and that's my kid. Let me out so I can see what he wants."

This didn't add up, she was sure it was the right place. "Your kid has been crying for the last fifteen minutes and you're only concerned about him now?"

"I was trying to make dinner."

"Call him out here."

"He's in his room."

"Better make it loud then."

He looked at her and smiled, completely dropping the charade. "Billy, you'd better come out. The Fullmetal Alchemist is here to see you." Then he clapped and hit the ground. Earth and rock exploded around her and she flew back several feet; tucking and rolling she was able to recover into a defensive position.

"You look a little confused kiddo. If you come inside for a drink I'll share my story with you and the children." He started walking toward her. Slap, clap, explosion.

Ed dove to the side and snarled at him, "Let them go you sick fuck." She sent a counter attack of stone fists from the ground and he dodged them all. Not wanting be in close combat with her weaker arm she opted for stone enclosure, he blocked that and managed to send a thin spike from the ground through her automail leg, crushing some of the gears. She went down.

 _Where the fuck was backup_? Quickly transmuting the broken automail into a single non-moving stilt she jumped and rolled, narrowly avoiding what would have been a shattered skull. He was still walking toward her.

"Aren't you interested to know how I can transmute without a circle? Don't you want to know my story? I don't get to tell it very often and i like to share."

"Not in the slightest asshole!"

Spikes of earth and stone shot at her again and she rolled. Dodging all but one, it shot up faster than she could move and pierced her gut, narrowly missing her vital organs. Sometimes, only sometimes, she had great luck. But now she was stuck unless she could pull the spike straight through. As she reached for it the old man's boot came down hard on her already weak hand, she held in a scream as she felt bones breaking. Reaching down he pulled the spike out for her. "Is this what you wanted? It's not going to help." He tossed it aside and kicked her in the stomach. "Now, I insist you come in for a drink."

Grabbing her by the hair he dragged her across the lawn as stones dug into her back, then up the stairs and into the house before throwing her into a chair. Ed was too dazed to react quickly enough to avoid the restraints as her captor clapped his hands and transmuted locks for her wrists then secured her to the arms of the chair.

The child was still crying in the background.

She could barely speak through the pain, "Let them go."

"I'll think about it. Time for drinks!" He disappeared into what must be the kitchen and she could hear him getting glasses.

While he'd been dragging her along the lawn she'd grabbed a rock with her working hand, now that she had a moment she slipped it from hiding and started to carve a circle into the arm of the chair under palm.

He returned too fast and she was forced to cover her efforts and wait.

"Ok. I think you'll love this. It'll take the pain away from your hand." He poked at the broken bones and she bared her teeth to help contain her scream.

He set the drinks down between them and smiled at her, "Want to see something neat?"

"No."

He slammed his fist into her broken hand and this time she did scream.

"I'm telling a story, don't be rude." He composed himself. "Several years ago I lost my wife. She was so beautiful; she should have lived forever. When my family was at her funeral my father said a very funny thing, he said that as long as I remembered her she'd live in my memories… well, I was devastated, if I died now then she'd be gone forever and I could _not_ let that happen. I had to live forever so that she could live forever."

Ed was having a hard time following the story, the pain from her hand and the blood loss from the gash in her side was taking its toll.

He saw her eyes droop and she barely had time to prepare before his hand cracked across her face, "WAKE UP! I'm still sharing here." Her head bounced against the wooden frame of the chair and he calmed himself again. "Anyway, I started doing some research on how to live forever and came upon the philosopher's stone. How handy! You just need a few human lives to make one. So easy! But then I learned that other people were looking for a stone and I had to be very careful about hiding mine. Which was very tricky until I learned that I can keep it and make it _inside myself_."

There was a creak from the floorboards of the front porch and the story stopped. "Excuse me. I think these are your friends." She started to shout a warning but he'd grabbed a corner of her coat and jammed it into her mouth. "Quiet! Don't ruin the surprise!"

He left and she listened to the screams of police officers as she carved more of the circle into the chair.

He was back within minutes and sat down to continue his story, not bothering to remove the cloth from her mouth. "Sorry for the distraction. Now, I left off with how to hide the stone." He seated himself comfortably back into his chair, "So, once I discovered how to conceal it, I knew how to make it and everything fell into place perfectly! Children are the purest of life. They've got everything in front of them and the love of their families. It was a perfect choice. It's not that hard to drain them either, you just cut off their limbs and hang them up."

Suddenly the glasses on the table came into view and she gagged. He noticed her gaze and jumped up from his chair, "Oh! You must be thirsty!" He pulled the coat from her mouth before holding the cup to her lips and tipping it up. She could smell the iron in it but when she tried to turn away he grabbed the back of her neck and forced it into her mouth. She threw up.

He jumped out of the way cursing at her for wasting the "gift". She fought away her nausea and used his distraction to finish the last two lines of the carving. Tapping the fingers of her right hand to the circle she activated the transmutation and the chair she was on exploded into sharp stakes before driving themselves into every section of his body. She'd fallen to the ground as the chair had transformed under her and now that her hands were free she clapped and locked his body to the floorboards. Her shattered right hand screamed in protest but she couldn't let him get away, as unlikely as it was with all the chair shards in him. She stayed on the ground and though she couldn't bring herself to kill him directly, she could definitely watch the blood leak out of him from her previous attack.

Trying to stay conscious to watch for new threats was becoming increasingly difficult. Her hand hurt so much and the blood loss from the hole in her side was significant. Still, she managed it for quite a while; watching as more police and some neighbours arrived. Someone in a uniform heard her mumble something about "children" and "basement". The police chief almost cuffed her as a murderer until she threw her pocket watch at his head. Then the officer she spoke to before returned, whispered to the chief, and both of them rushed back to where the basement door probably was, she wasn't able to turn around and confirm. From there she remembered something about being loaded into a car and then hospital doors.

It wasn't until three days later that she fully regained consciousness. And not in the best way. Her dreams had been of dismembered children, bled dry and sewn back together; they'd been dancing and drinking their own blood and she'd had to join them. She awoke dry heaving and shivering and when she tried to lean over she remembered several things: she was missing a leg, her side was ripped open, and her right hand was practically shattered. The pain of movement was so sudden she stopped breathing for a while and just stared wide eyed over the edge of the mattress. Mustang was there in a second, placing a cold compress to her forehead and easing her back onto the bed.

Closing her eyes to focus on breathing, she heard him call for more pain meds.

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days."

"Did they find all the children?"

He hesitated, "Yes."

"Alive?"

Silence.

Her voice hitched, "How many made it?"

He sighed, "Three out of the five we found."

Three, she'd saved three lives... two lost.

She shivered again and he grabbed a blanket and threw it over her, then placed his hand back on her forehead. She wasn't entirely convinced it was just to hold the compress in place, especially when his fingers were against her temple checking her pulse. Conniving jerk; learning things about her without permission. She wondered how many times he'd done that over the last three days and couldn't bring herself to comment.

She changed the subject, "How mad is Al at me?"

"He's fine. Though that might change when he sees you're awake. I insisted he sleep in the on-call room to make sure he heals his body properly. He's there right now."

She mumbled some sort of acknowledgement and fell silent.

The nurse came in with some pain medication and a glass of water and left it on the table beside the bed, she checked Ed's vitals and wandered out.

"No needles?"

"Not while you're awake. I warned them."

She mumbled a thank you then eyed up the meds on the table. Her muscles twitched at the thought of moving and she realised she wasn't going to be able to sit up and reach either of those things, especially because the table was on the side of her busted hand. She stared at the table trying to come up with a plan, maybe if she punched down hard enough on the surface with her cast she could get it to fly into the air and catch it in her mouth.

Her plan must have shown on her face as she calculated it. "For fuck sakes Ed, just ask." Mustang grabbed the pills and water from the table, offering each in turn. When he placed the water to her lips she froze, pupils dilating as her eyes became unfocused, the colour drained from her face.

He withdrew the cup immediately. "Ed!"

 _shit!_ The water was quickly placed back on the table and his hands were on each side of her face in an effort to get her to look at him. "Listen to my voice Ed, I'm here, we're in the hospital. Jacobs is dead."

He saw her take a deep breath. "He tried to make me drink their blood. I could hear them crying and he wanted me to _drink it_."

He was actually a bit relieved. _She hadn't drank it._ They'd found the container of blood in the fridge and two empty glasses on the floor in the mess of woodwork and he couldn't imagine the trauma involved in being force fed children's blood.

He wiped a few tears from her face.

"He's dead?" she whispered.

"Yes, the police chief went to the basement and found out one of the children was his nephew. When he came back up he shot Jacobs in the head several times. He told me to thank you for catching the demented asshole and that he's sorry he tried to arrest you." The General reached into his jacket and pulled out her pocket watch, he considered it for a moment before setting it on the side table. "He didn't say where he got the bruise on his forehead though."

She noticed his change of subject again and was grateful for it. " _Tried_ is right."

"He also told me that you called them for backup like a responsible grown-up."

"I'M NOT SHO-"

"So now I just have to apologise for leaving that assignment on my desk. It wasn't the one you were supposed to take."

"I know."

"You know?" Mustang was incredulous. "And you still went ahead and tried to get yourself killed?!"

"Yeah, my name wasn't on it like the one that I'd seen on your desk. Plus, your assignments for me since Al got his body back have just been to repair things. I was only going to look into this case until you arrived with backup but then I learned that some kids had already been taken from their original day-care and moved. There wasn't time. That's why I called for police backup... even though they were late."

The speech made her feel weaker and she closed her eyes for a few moments.

Mustang's voice was soft, "Dammit Ed." He couldn't get mad at her for that. He would have done the same thing in that situation. "How do you always manage to find trouble so _quickly?_ "

The question seemed rhetorical so she didn't answer. Silence fell and Mustang took the opportunity to check her over. Just to _make sure_ she was ok.

"I'm not sleeping pervert, I can feel you staring."

He rolled his eyes. "Well Ed, I'm not turned on by women in hospital beds, you're welcome to try again later though. With a different kind of bed."

Her face went red and she cursed at him but couldn't open her eyes. Maybe she should rest again for a while.

"When can I get out of here?"

"Tomorrow if you let me carry you. One more week if not. Doctors said you can't walk for the next eight days, it'll pull the stitches in your side. Congratulations on your week off."

She blushed a bit and grumbled the answer he was expecting. No one ever wanted to stay in a hospital if they didn't have to and they both knew Al wasn't strong enough yet to carry much more than a few pounds.

Mustang grabbed the compress from where it had fallen and filled it with cold water. She was actually dozing off and he'd need to be ready for the inevitable nightmares. Pushing the table out of the way he pulled his chair closer and settled in. There was still plenty of time before tomorrow's train for him to rest _and_ keep an eye on Fullmetal, and he knew he'd need it. Transporting a cranky and injured alchemist was definitely going to test his patience.


	16. tree top

-.-.-.-.- notes -.-.-.-.-

Heh. yeah. Soooooooo, how's everyone doing? I swear I only stepped out for a minute...

I started re-watching FMA:brotherhood a few months ago then re-watching regular FMA this weekend. I just watched the one where Hawkeye gets her puppy Black Hayate and figured i should type some ideas out before they leave me again for an indeterminate amount of time.

To my one constant reviewer, i'm SO sorry. I badgered you for a story idea and then when you finally gave me one, i basically went MIA. I have no idea how to write that but i'm going to see if watching all the way through this time will give me any ideas. (yes that does mean i didn't actually watch the whole series the first time around. I don't like endings, it's easier to just make stuff up. Please no tomatoes.)

One other note: i do actually have a couple other story ideas already written, so hopefully i do actually finish them and don't just put them in the same pile as those other stories i had that aren't finished.

This is a short one but i might actually do a sequel for it. Which will probably be just as short.

-.-.-.-.- story -.-.-.-.-

It was over, it'd been over for just under a year now. Al's body and Ed's arm had been returned and the military gig was completed. Contract officially ended. Life had changed.

Al had asked Winry to accompany him around the world learning new types of alchemical healing and automail techniques and she'd gladly accepted, leaving Ed in the big city alone. They'd asked him to join, practically insisted on it, but he'd declined. Not just because of the third wheel aspect but because he was tired of travelling.

In the months since their departure Ed had learned what he wanted to do, learned who he was, moreso. And had had time to find a niche in Central that suited him perfectly: Alchemical repair. He'd managed to find a shop with an apartment on top and a small backyard around back. With one 'minor' alteration it was perfect.

He'd gone to Resembool for seeds and by the time he was back at Central, Fletcher and Russell had received his letter and arrived as well. Fletcher was happy to assist as requested and with some guidance from Russell they grew the tree to a decent height in only a few minutes. "Decent" ended up having a different meaning for the taller boy as the tree was easily bigger than the house which caused Ed to glare at the brothers' completed work. Russell just smirked at him and said it was to make up for his shortness.

He'd been mad at the time but it was perfect and his new past time was to climb to the top and watch the stars. Knowing that his brother and Winry looked up at the same ones. Cheesy of course, but true, and relaxing.

And it only took a few lumps for Ed to realise that on warmer nights he fell asleep in the tree easily and so constructed a small platform to prevent future falls and subsequent brain injury.

.-=-.

Mustang had taken to wandering at nights when he couldn't sleep, which ended up being quite often due to sleeping all day on his paperwork. Mainly though, he was antsy and couldn't place why. His midnight patrol helped clear his head and tire him out, especially since by the time he'd decided to head home he'd be halfway across the city and he'd have to trek all the way back before he could fall into bed.

This particular night found him walking passed Ed's place; he'd checked in a few times to see how the kid was doing as an eighteen year old living on his own. But mostly it seemed quiet. Mustang had wondered if he should introduce Ed to some women but something felt sour about that so he'd skipped the idea.

Tonight he found out why the idea bothered him so much.

He walked passed the side of the house and then backtracked, checking to confirm the he had indeed seen a leg hanging over the side of a platform in the tree.

He raised an eyebrow, no way after years of being in the military would Ed leave his guard down like this! Mustang was slightly concerned, maybe the kid had fallen out of the higher branches and smacked his head on the landing, or maybe he was actually asleep and Mustang could catch him unaware and… and… well, he didn't have any ideas on what to do with a sleeping, highly-trained, highly-skilled alchemist, but his mischievous brain would think of something. Besides, in the interest of safety he had to investigate anyway.

Up the tree and over the edge of the platform was easy (it was actually the fence with gargoyle heads that gave him the most difficulty). The tree was clearly for climbing, though it looked like Fullmetal had a large branch extending to the bedroom window on the second floor. Cheater. He jumped up the last step of branches and landed quietly, then had to do a double take at the sight in front of him.

Fullmetal.

Fullmetal unbound.

Unbound? Well, something. Because this wasn't, well it was, but it wasn't what he was used to.

Obviously this was Fullmetal, the automail leg and blonde hair were easy clues, but the t-shirt and pajama pants were a different level of revealing. To start, there were... boobs?! He was internally sputtering. Like... what?! Since when... ? How?

Yet, there they were, the flimsy shirt doing absolutely nothing to conceal Ed's secret and definitely riding up in her sleep. Stomach and waist exposed. A definitively female waist. He couldn't stop his eyes from travelling over the rest of her. Well, he could, but he wasn't really trying to stop himself; letching was one of his favourite pastimes.

A bird cawed startling Mustang and suddenly Ed moved in her sleep, rolling over and stretching.

Mustang was three blocks away before Ed's subconscious could register there had been a presence, and since no one was there, she just rolled over and fell asleep again.

Mustang was at the other end of the alertness scale, having vaulted down a tree and sprinted three blocks in such a short amount of time he was sure it broke world records. He leaned against the nearest telephone pole as he waited for his heart to calm down from hummingbird mode. He should be far enough away and it looked like Ed WASN'T following him so he took some time to catch his breath. He had no idea how to respond to this new knowledge, which reaction he wanted to make public. He couldn't decide if he was angry or upset, sad or happy. Dammit! This walk was nowhere near over.

So much for sleeping.

-.-.-.-.- notes -.-.-.-.-

Ta da!

Now to the next story!

I just need to step out for a minute though...


	17. getting out

I feel like i didn't do enough editing in this but decided i didn't really care anymore. if there's anything big let me know and i'll change it up.

If there's a part that says, "the the" i might have meant "to the" or something similar, sometimes my fingers just type words they know instead of words i mean.

also, this might get a sequel if i can figure out how to write it. this chapter already seems really choppy, like it's not very free flowing, so we'll see how that goes.

*~*~*~*story*~*~*~*

Ed had been in Mustang's office for over an hour now getting harassed about a report, talking in circles, the same questions asked in different ways. Then she realised it:

Mustang knew.

He must have figured it out somewhere along the line. Ed wasn't sure where and wasn't about to ask, maybe if she left it alone they could get through these last few months of her military contract without issues. At least now she knew he knew. She just had to play along and not fall for any of his traps that would cause her to reveal herself.

The conversation continued, and after a few more questions, Mustang figured it out. She knew he knew! And she was expertly evading his verbal traps in their conversation. He harrumphed at her.

Crap. He knew she knew he knew. Annoying. Now she'd have to just pretend it was obvious and see if she could get out of here before he stopped with his games and realised he was mad at her.

She checked the door with the corner of her eye to judge running distance and when she focussed back on him, she saw his eyes narrow at her. Dropping this ruse of a conversation she darted toward the door and when, predictably, he jumped to block her escape, she pivoted and vaulted over his desk and out the window.

She could hear his frustrated growl from inside. Hah! She shouted back over her shoulder, "You are a terrible chess player!" and ran straight into Armstrong.

She swore at Mustang's return HAH! Then, "Alex, could you bring Fullmetal back in here for me?"

Awww, shit. She struggled but knew it was useless, this WAS Armstrong and she'd probably just hurt herself, time to switch tactics. Obscenities flew out of her mouth at top volume with the hope that maybe she could get Armstrong to drop her out of shock on the way back to the office. It didn't happen, but it did make her feel a bit better, though on the flipside it looked like she was just making Mustang angrier with her.

Eventually the swearing died down and her adrenalin along with it. Frustration took over as the silence slid over the room. She'd been placed on a single chair facing Mustang's desk. Armstrong was a step to the right and back just a little, his hand weighed heavy on her weak right shoulder to keep her in place. The team had followed them in after Ed's shouting and Mustang didn't think it was fair to kick them out. They'd all been deceived.

Mustang affected an air of nonchalance but his team saw right through it, he was furious and if they were allowed to stay and find out why… well, this was going to be good.

"Listen everyone, we have a liar in our midst." He glared at Ed, "Do you have anything you want to tell the team?"

"Fuck off bastard." Obviously yes, but she'd wanted to tell them afterward. After the contract. It could have been a party.

"Ed's a girl."

"You fucking prick! That's not yours to share!" Ed was understandably furious. "I was going to tell everyone when my contract was up!"

"Sir," Hawkeye stepped forward. "This should have been handled differently."

"You knew?" Mustang's eyebrows shot through the ceiling. "You knew and didn't tell me?!"

Hawkeye stood her ground but didn't reply.

Mustang couldn't handle it, "Everyone out except Ed!"

She glared at him, "Why are you so mad Mustang? Upset you didn't know you could have been letching on your own team this entire time?"

The team bolted out the door at that comment and Mustang rounded on her. "YOU'RE the one that messed this up Fullmetal. You've broken my trust. I don't even know who you are."

"I'm still Ed jackass. I'm still me. Just because you figured out i don't have a dick doesn't make me a completely different person."

"YOU FUCKING LIED!"

"I FUCKING HAD TO!"

"BullSHIT!"

"Oh really?! What was i supposed to do? Be under age AND the first female State Alchemist? What kind of attention would that have got me? All those stories of me getting kidnapped, how would they have ended if i was a girl? Would i have been treated the same? Given the same opportunity? I couldn't risk it, not if i was going to get Al's body back. Being young was already enough of a hindrance."

"Why not tell us right after that was taken care of then?"

"With my weak limbs and Al's weak body? Tell me Mustang, are you sure we got all the homunculi? How many calls have you taken about my health and having someone come by to 'interview' me? How many more would you get if my secret was revealed?"

Mustang couldn't hide his surprise fast enough. How could Ed have known he was redirecting suspicious calls to the investigations department? There were quite a few groups that thought a weak State Alchemist was something they could own.

Ed had seen his surprise and instead of being triumphant at winning decided to be honest. "I thought so, and I'm sorry. I tried to limit your involvement after Hughes and Maria and you still protected us. I didn't want to make it worse for you by attracting more attention."

She let the silence sit as he considered her argument, and though his response made her sad, it didn't surprise her.  
"Get out."

She left without comment.

The team was waiting outside the office and she took the opportunity to apologise to them and hand her watch to Hawkeye before heading out. What was she supposed to do now?

Well, first i guess, move out of the dorms. Then probably back to Resembool for a quick visit. Al and Winry had moved back to help Al heal and rest. After that… she shuddered… training, if Izumi didn't kill her. She needed to get her strength back in her arm and the time away would help her figure out a career path. There'd be lots of time to think if she was stuck on that island for another month.

.-.-.

Mustang lectured Hawkeye for what seemed like hours before realising that he was just mad at himself. He noticed Riza hadn't really been paying attention.

"Sorry. Can you tell Fullmetal to come back in? I think I need to apologise to her too."

She hesitated, then placed Ed's pocket watch slowly on Roy's desk, "I think she thought you meant 'Get out of the military'."

Roy stared at Ed's watch and then at his paperwork.

The sharpshooter rolled her eyes, "Just go, I'll get Breda to do some of that."

Mustang thanked her and ran from the room.

As he disappeared around the corner Riza let out a long suffering sigh before walking around his desk and slumping down in the big chair. Sometimes this job just felt like babysitting.

*~*~*~*notes*~*~*~*

ugh, i don't like the way this turned out. but i've decided i'm probably not going to spend too much time on it so i might as well get it out there.


End file.
